The Merrie Wiues of Windsor from Mr. William Shakespeares comedies, histories, & tragedies.: Published according to the true originall copies.
Mr. VVilliam Shakespeares comedies, histories, & tragedies
Bodleian First Folio, Arch. G c.7
Heminge, John, approximately 1556-1630 Condell, Henry, -1627Autres contributions
Available for reuse, according to the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported.
url urlSHAKESPEARES
COMEDIES,
HISTORIES, &
TRAGEDIES.
[18], 303, [1], 46, 49-100, [2], 69-232, [2], 79-80, [26], 76, 79-82, 80-98, [2], 109-156, 257-993 [i.e. 399], [1] p.; fol.
Numbering peculiarities: 1st count: p.50 misnumbered 58; p.59 misnumbered 51; p.86 misnumbered 88; p.153 misnumbered 151; p.161 misnumbered] 163; p.164 misnumbered 162; p. 165 misnumbered 163; p. 189 misnumbered 187; p. 249 misnumbered 251; p.250 misnumbered 252; p. 265 misnumbered 273 -- 2nd count: p.37 misnumbered 39 in some copies; p.89 misnumbered 91; p. 90 misnumbered 92 -- 3rd count: p.165-166 numbered 167 and 168 respectively; p. 216 numbered 218 -- 5th count: p. 279 misnumbered 259; p. 282 misnumbered 280; p.308 misnumbered 38; p. 379 misnumbered 389; p. 399 misnumbered 993.
The signatures varies between sources, with the most commonly cited being Hinman's and West's: 1. Hinman: πA⁶ (πA1+1) [πB²], ²A-2B⁶ 2C² a-g⁶ χgg⁸ h-v⁶ x⁴ χ1.2 [para.]-2[para.]⁶ 3[para]¹ aa-ff⁶ gg² Gg⁶ hh⁶ kk-bbb⁶; 2. West: πA⁶ (πA1+1, πA5+1.2)²A-2B⁶ 2C² a-g⁶ ²g⁸ h-v⁶ x⁴ 'gg3.4' (±'gg3') [para.]-2[para.]⁶ 3[para]¹ 2a-2f⁶ 2g² 2G⁶ 2h⁶ 2k-2v⁶ x⁶ 2y-3b⁶.
Mis-signed leaves: a3 mis-signed Aa3; ³gg1 mis-signed Gg; nn1-nn2 mis-signed Nn and Nn2 and oo1 mis-signed Oo.
"The life and death of King Iohn" begins new pagination on leaf a1 recto; "The tragedy of Coriolanus" begins new pagination on leaf aa1 recto.
Predominantly printed in double columns.
Text within simple lined frame.
Colophon reads: "Printed at the charges of W. Iaggard, Ed. Blount, I. Smithweeke, and W. Aspley. 1623.".
Editors’ dedication signed: Iohn Heminge. Henry Condell.
Two MS verses on first endpaper verso: 1. 9 lines of verse by an unknown author, first line reads "An active swain to make a leap was seen". 2. A copy of Ben Jonson’s printed "To the Reader"; MS note on t.p. (mutilated) appears to read "Honest [Shakes]peare". Minor annotations on leaf 2n4 (Macbeth). All in an early English hand, presumably added after leaving the Library.
Seventeenth-century (1624) English (Oxford) smooth calf. Bound for the Bodleian Library by William Wildgoose, with evidence of two cloth ties, red sprinkled edge. Formerly chained, with evidence of chain staple at the head of the upper cover. Remains of paper label at the head of the spine. Enclosed in 20th century book box by Maltby of Oxford. See S. Gibson in Original Bodleian Copy of First Folio, p. 12-13. One of four items sent out on 17th February 1624 for binding by Wildgoose containing printed waste from a copy of Cicero’s "De Officiis, et al." [Deventer: Richard Pafraet, between 1480 and 1485] as paste-downs. For more information on this work see: Bod. Inc. Cat., C-322.
For further details on the printing of this item see Hinman, Charleton. The printing and proof-reading of the First Folio of Shakespeare: Oxford, 1963.
Acquired by the Bodleian in 1623, presumably in sheets. It was sent out to William Wildgoose on for binding (see: Library Records e.258, fol. 48r) and upon its return chained in Duke Humfrey at shelfmark S 2.17 Art. It is listed in the Bodleian’s catalogue of printed books but was gone by the publication of the next catalogue in , replaced by the newer Third Folio (). There is no explicit reference in Library Records to the disposal of this copy, but there is a record of a sale of "superfluous library books" to Richard Davis, a bookseller in Oxford, in for the sum of £24.
After leaving the Bodleian this copy entered the collection of Richard Turbutt of Ogston Hall, Derbyshire at some point in the early 18th century. It stayed in the family’s possession until , when it was reacquired by the Bodleian for the sum of £3000, raised by public subscription. For a full discussion of the rediscovery and purchase of this copy see: F. Madan, G. M. R. Turbutt and S. Gibson, The Original Bodleian Copy of the First Folio of Shakespeare (theTurbutt Shakespeare) (Oxford, 1905)
For a full discussion of this copy and the digital version see http://shakespeare.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/ and West and Rasmussen (2011), 31.
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THE
Merry Wiues of Windsor.
Actus primus, Scena prima.
[Act 1, Scene 1]
Page, Falstoffe, Bardolph, Nym, Pistoll, Anne Page,
Mistresse Ford, Mistresse Page, Simple.
Shallow.
1SIr Hugh, perswade me not: I will make a Star‑Chamber [l. 2] matter of it, if hee were twenty Sir [l. 3] Iohn Falstoffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow [l. 4] Esquire.
Slen.
5In the County of Glocester, Iustice of Peace and [l. 6] (Coram.
Shal.
Slen.
8I, and Rato lorum too; and a Gentleman borne [l. 9] (Master Parson) who writes himselfe Armigero, in any [l. 10] Bill, Warrant, Quittance, or Obligation, Armigero.
Shal.
11I that I doe, and haue done any time these three [l. 12] hundred yeeres.
Slen.
13All his successors (gone before him) hath don't: [l. 14] and all his Ancestors (that come after him) may: they [l. 15] may giue the dozen white Luces in their Coate.
Shal.
Euans.
17The dozen white Lowses doe become an old [l. 18] Coat well: it agrees well passant: It is a familiar beast to [l. 19] man, and signifies Loue.
Shal.
20The Luse is the fresh‑fish, the salt‑fish, is an old [l. 21] Coate.
Slen.
Shal.
Euans.
Shal.
Shal.
26Yes per‑lady: if he ha's a quarter of your coat, [l. 27] there is but three Skirts for your selfe, in my simple con [l. 28] iectures; but that is all one: if Sir Iohn Falstaffe haue [l. 29] committed disparagements vnto you, I am of the Church [l. 30] and will be glad to do my beneuolence, to make attone [l. 31] ments and compremises betweene you.
Shal.
32The Councell shall heare it, it is a Riot.
Euan.
33It is not meet the Councell heare a Riot: there [l. 34] is no feare of Got in a Riot: The Councell (looke you) [l. 35] shall desire to heare the feare of Got, and not to heare a [l. 36] Riot: take your viza‑ments in that.
Shal.
37Ha; o' my life, if I were yong againe, the sword [l. 38] should end it.
Euans.
39It is petter that friends is the sword, and end [l. 40] it: and there is also another deuice in my praine, which [l. 41] peraduenture prings goot discretions with it. There is [l. 42] Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page, [l. 43] which is pretty virginity.
Slen.
44Mistris Anne Page? she has browne haire, and [l. 45] speakes small like a woman.
Euans.
46It is that ferry person for all the orld, as iust as [l. 47] you will desire, and seuen hundred pounds of Moneyes, [l. 48] and Gold, and Siluer, is her Grand‑sire vpon his deaths‑ [l. 49] bed, (Got deliuer to a ioyfull resurrections) giue, when [l. 50] she is able to ouertake seuenteene yeeres old. It were a [l. 51] goot motion, if we leaue our pribbles and prabbles, and [l. 52] desire a marriage betweene Master Abraham, and Mistris [l. 53] Anne Page.
Slen.
54Did her Grand‑sire leaue her seauen hundred [l. 55] pound?
Euan.
56I, and her father is make her a petter penny.
Slen.
57I know the young Gentlewoman, she hasgood [l. 58] gifts.
Euan.
59Seuen hundred pounds, and possibilities, is [l. 60] goot gifts.
Shal.
61Wel, let vs see honest Mr Page: is Falstaffe there? [l. 62]
Euan.
63 Shall I tell you a lye? I doe despise a lyer, as I [l. 64] doe despise one that is false, or as I despise one that is not [l. 65] true: the Knight Sir Iohn is there, and I beseech you be [l. 66] ruled by your well‑willers: I will peat the doore for Mr. [l. 67] Page. What hoa? Got‑plesse your house here.
Mr. Page.
Euan.
69Here is go't's plessing and your friend, and Iu [l. 70] stice Shallow, and heere yong Master Slender: that perad [l. 71] uentures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to [l. 72] your likings.
Mr. Page.
73I am glad to see your Worships well: I [l. 74] thanke you for my Venison Master Shallow.
Shal.
75Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good [l. 76] doe it your good heart: I wish'd your Venison better, it [l. 77] was ill killd: how doth good Mistresse Page? and I thank [l. 78] you alwaies with my heart, la: with my heart.
M.Page.
Shal.
M.Pa.
Slen.
82How do's your fallow Greyhound, Sir, I heard [l. 83] say he was out‑run on Cotsall.
M.Pa.
Slen.
Shal.
86That he will not, 'tis your fault, 'tis your fault: [l. 87] 'tis a good dogge.
M.Pa.
Shal.
89Sir: hee's a good dog, and a faire dog, can there [l. 90] be more said? he is good, and faire. Is Sir Iohn Falstaffe [l. 91] heere?
M.Pa.
92Sir, hee is within: and I would I could doe a [l. 93] good office betweene you.
Euan.
Shal.
M.Pa.
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Shal.
97If it be confessed, it is not redressed; is not that [l. 98] so (M. Page?) he hath wrong'd me, indeed he hath, at a [l. 99] word he hath: beleeue me, Robert Shallow Esquire, saith [l. 100] he is wronged.
Ma.Pa
Fal.
102Now, Master Shallow, you'll complaine of me to [l. 103] the King?
Shal.
104Knight, you haue beaten my men, kill'd my [l. 105] deere, and broke open my Lodge.
Fal.
Shal.
Fal.
Shal.
Fal.
111'Twere better for you if it were known in councell: [l. 112] you'll be laugh'd at.
Eu.
Fal.
114Good worts? good Cabidge; Slender, I broke [l. 115] your head: what matter haue you against me?
Slen.
116Marry sir, I haue matter in my head against you, [l. 117] and against your cony‑catching Rascalls, Bardolf, Nym, [l. 118] and Pistoll.
Bar.
Slen.
Pist.
Slen.
Nym.
Slen.
124Where's Simple my man? can you tell, Cosen?
Eua.
125Peace, I pray you: now let vs vnderstand: there [l. 126] is three Vmpires in this matter, as I vnderstand; that is, [l. 127] Master Page (fidelicet Master Page,) & there is my selfe, [l. 128] (fidelicet my selfe) and the three party is (lastly, and finally) [l. 129] mine Host of the Gater.
Ma.Pa
Euan.
131Ferry goo't, I will make a priefe of it in my [l. 132] note‑booke, and we wil afterwards orke vpon the cause, [l. 133] with as great discreetly as we can.
Fal.
Pist.
Euan.
136The Teuill and his Tam: what phrase is this? [l. 137] he heares with eare? why, it is affectations.
Fal.
Slen.
139I, by these gloues did hee, or I would I might [l. 140] neuer come in mine owne great chamber againe else, of [l. 141] seauen groates in mill‑sixpences, and two Edward Shouelboords, [l. 142] that cost me two shilling and two pence a [l. 143] peece of Yead Miller: by these gloues.
Fal.
Euan.
Pist.
146Ha, thou mountaine Forreyner: Sir Iohn, and [l. 147] Master mine, I combat challenge of this Latine Bilboe: [l. 148] word of deniall in thy labras here; word of denial; froth, [l. 149] and scum thou liest.
Slen.
Nym.
151Be auis'd sir, and passe good humours: I will [l. 152] say marry trap with you, if you runne the nut‑hooks humor [l. 153] on me, that is the very note of it.
Slen.
154By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for [l. 155] though I cannot remember what I did when you made [l. 156] me drunke, yet I am not altogether an asse.
Fal.
Bar.
158Why sir, (for my part) I say the Gentleman had [l. 159] drunke himselfe out of his fiue sentences.
Eu.
Bar.
161And being fap, sir, was (as they say) casheerd: and [l. 162] so conclusions past the Car‑eires.
Slen.
163I, you spake in Latten then to: but 'tis no matter; [l. 164] Ile nere be drunk whilst I liue againe, but in honest, [l. 165] ciuill, godly company for this tricke: if I be drunke, Ile [l. 166] be drunke with those that haue the feare of God, and not [l. 167] with drunken knaues.
Euan.
168So got‑udge me, that is a vertuous minde.
Fal.
169You heare all these matters deni'd, Gentlemen; [l. 170] you heare it.
Mr.Page.
171Nay daughter, carry the wine in, wee'll [l. 172] drinke within.
Slen.
Mr.Page.
Fal.
175Mistris Ford, by my troth you are very wel met: [l. 176] by your leaue good Mistris.
Mr.Page.
177Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome: come, [l. 178] we haue a hot Venison pasty to dinner; Come gentle [l. 179] men, I hope we shall drinke downe all vnkindnesse.
Slen.
180I had rather then forty shillings I had my booke [l. 181] of Songs and Sonnets heere: How now Simple, where [l. 182] haue you beene? I must wait on my selfe, must I? you [l. 183] haue not the booke of Riddles about you, haue you?
Sim.
184Booke of Riddles? why did you not lend it to [l. 185] Alice Short‑cake vpon Alhallowmas last, a fortnight afore [l. 186] Michaelmas.
Shal.
187Come Coz, come Coz, we stay for you: a word [l. 188] with you Coz: marry this, Coz: there is as 'twere a ten [l. 189] der, a kinde of tender, made a farre‑off by Sir Hugh here: [l. 190] doe you vnderstand me?
Slen.
Shal.
Slen.
Euan.
195Giue eare to his motions; (Mr. Slender) I will [l. 196] description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.
Slen.
197Nay, I will doe as my Cozen Shallow saies: I [l. 198] pray you pardon me, he's a Iustice of Peace in his Countrie, [l. 199] simple though I stand here.
Euan.
200But that is not the question: the question is [l. 201] concerning your marriage.
Shal.
Eu.
Slen.
204Why if it be so; I will marry her vpon any reasonable [l. 205] demands.
Eu.
206But can you affection the 'o‑man, let vs command [l. 207] to know that of your mouth, or of your lips: for diuers [l. 208] Philosophers hold, that the lips is parcell of the mouth: [l. 209] therfore precisely, can you carry your good wil to yͤ maid?
Sh.
Slen.
211I hope sir, I will do as it shall become one that [l. 212] would doe reason.
Eu.
213Nay, got's Lords, and his Ladies, you must speake [l. 214] possitable, if you can carry‑her your desires towards her.
Shal.
Will you, (vpon good dowry) marry her?
Slen.
216I will doe a greater thing then that, vpon your [l. 217] request (Cosen) in any reason.
Shal.
218Nay conceiue me, conceiue mee, (sweet Coz): [l. 219] What I doe is to pleasure you (Coz:) can you loue the [l. 220] maid?
Slen.
221I will marry her (Sir) at your request; but if [l. 222] there bee no great loue in the beginning, yet Heauen [l. 223] may decrease it vpon better acquaintance, when wee [l. 224] are married, and haue more occasion to know one ano [l. 225] ther: I hope vpon familiarity will grow more content: [l. 226] but if you say mary‑her, I will mary‑her, that I am freely [l. 227] dissolued, and dissolutely.
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Eu.
228It is a fery discretion‑answere; saue the fall is in [l. 229] the 'ord, dissolutely: the ort is (according to our mea [l. 230] ning) resolutely: his meaning is good.
Sh.
Sl.
Sh.
233Here comes faire Mistris Anne; would [.] I were [l. 234] yong for your sake, Mistris Anne.
An.
235The dinner is on the Table, my Father desires [l. 236] your worships company.
Sh.
Eu.
An.
Sl.
An.
Sl.
242I am not a‑hungry, I thanke you, forsooth: goe, [l. 243] Sirha, for all you are my man, goe wait vpon my Cosen [l. 244] Shallow: a Iustice of peace sometime may be beholding [l. 245] to his friend, for a Man; I keepe but three Men, and a [l. 246] Boy yet, till my Mother be dead: but what though, yet [l. 247] I liue like a poore Gentleman borne.
An.
248I may not goe in without your worship: they [l. 249] will not sit till you come.
Sl.
250I'faith, ile eate nothing: I thanke you as much as [l. 251] though I did.
An.
Sl.
253I had rather walke here (I thanke you) I bruiz'd [l. 254] my shin th' other day, with playing at Sword and Dag [l. 255] ger with a Master of Fence (three veneys for a dish of [l. 256] stew'd Prunes) and by my troth, I cannot abide the smell [l. 257] of hot meate since. Why doe your dogs barke so? be [l. 258] there Beares ith' Towne?
An.
Sl.
260I loue the sport well, but I shall as soone quarrell [l. 261] at it, as any man in England: you are afraid if you see the [l. 262] Beare loose, are you not?
An.
Sl.
264That's meate and drinke to me now: I haue seene [l. 265] Saskerson loose, twenty times, and haue taken him by the [l. 266] Chaine: but (I warrant you) the women haue so cride [l. 267] and shrekt at it, that it past: But women indeede, cannot [l. 268] abide 'em, they are very ill‑fauour'd rough things.
Ma.Pa
Sl.
Ma.Pa
come, come.
Sl.
Ma.Pa.
Sl.
An.
Sl.
doe you that wrong.
An.
Sl.
278Ile rather be vnmannerly, then troublesome: you [l. 279] doe your selfe wrong indeede‑la.
Scena Secunda.
[Act 1, Scene 2]
Eu.
280Go your waies, and aske of Doctor Caius house, [l. 281] which is the way; and there dwels one Mistris Quickly; [l. 282] which is in the manner of his Nurse; or his dry‑Nurse; or [l. 283] his Cooke; or his Laundry; his Washer, and his Ringer.
Si.
Eu.
285Nay, it is petter yet: giue her this letter; for it is [l. 286] a 'oman that altogeathers acquaintance with Mistris Anne [l. 287] Page; and the Letter is to desire, and require her to soli [l. 288] cite your Masters desires, to Mistris Anne Page: I pray [l. 289] you be gon: I will make an end of my dinner; ther's Pip [l. 290] pins and Cheese to come.
Scena Tertia.
[Act 1, Scene 3]
Fal.
291Mine Host of the Garter?
Ho.
292What saies my Bully Rooke? speake schollerly, [l. 293] and wisely.
Fal.
294Truely mine Host; I must turne away some of my [l. 295] followers.
Ho.
296Discard, (bully Hercules) casheere; let them wag; [l. 297] trot, trot.
Fal.
298I sit at ten pounds a weeke.
Ho.
299Thou'rt an Emperor (Cesar, Keiser and Pheazar) [l. 300] I will entertaine Bardolfe: he shall draw; he shall tap; said [l. 301] I well (bully Hector?)
Fa.
Ho.
303I haue spoke; let him follow: let me see thee froth, [l. 304] and liue: I am at a word: follow.
Fal.
305Bardolfe, follow him: a Tapster is a good trade: [l. 306] an old Cloake, makes a new Ierkin: a wither'd Seruing [l. 307] man, a fresh Tapster: goe, adew.
Ba.
308It is a life that I haue desir'd: I will thriue.
Pist.
Ni.
Fal.
311I am glad I am so acquit of this Tinderbox: his [l. 312] Thefts were too open: his filching was like an vnskilfull [l. 313] Singer, he kept not time.
Ni.
314The good humor is to steale at a minutes rest.
Pist.
315Conuay: the wise it call: Steale? foh: a fico for [l. 316] the phrase.
Fal.
Pist.
Fal.
Pist.
Fal.
Pist.
Fal.
Pist.
Fal.
325No quips now Pistoll: (Indeede I am in the waste [l. 326] two yards about: but I am now about no waste: I am a [l. 327] bout thrift) briefely: I doe meane to make loue to Fords [l. 328] wife: I spie entertainment in her: shee discourses: shee [l. 329] carues: she giues the leere of inuitation: I can construe [l. 330] the action of her familier stile, & the hardest voice of her [l. 331] behauior (to be english'd rightly) is, I am Sir Iohn Falstafs.
Pist.
332He hath studied her will; and translated her will: [l. 333] out of honesty, into English.
Ni.
334The Anchor is deepe: will that humor passe?
Fal.
335Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her [l. 336] husbands Purse: he hath a legend of Angels.
Pist.
337As many diuels entertaine: and to her Boy say I.
Ni.
338The humor rises: it is good: humor me the angels.
Fal.
339I haue writ me here a letter to her: & here ano [l. 340] ther to Pages wife, who euen now gaue mee good eyes [l. 341] too; examind my parts with most iudicious illiads: some [l. 342] times the beame of her view, guilded my foote: some [l. 343] times my portly belly.
![[p. 42]](FFimg:axc0062-0.jpg){kind=link}
Pist.
Ni.
Fal.
346O she did so course o're my exteriors with such [l. 347] a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye, did seeme [l. 348] to scorch me vp like a burning‑glasse: here's another [l. 349] letter to her: She beares the Purse too: She is a Region [l. 350] in Guiana: all gold, and bountie: I will be Cheaters to [l. 351] them both, and they shall be Exchequers to mee: they [l. 352] shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to [l. 353] them both: Goe, beare thou this Letter to Mistris Page; [l. 354] and thou this to Mistris Ford: we will thriue (Lads) we [l. 355] will thriue.
Pist.
Ni.
Letter; I will keepe the hauior of reputation.
Fal.
Pist.
Ni.
Pist.
Ni.
Pist.
Ni.
Pist.
Ni.
380My humour shall not coole: I will incense Ford [l. 381] to deale with poyson: I will possesse him with yallow [l. 382] nesse, for the reuolt of mine is dangerous: that is my [l. 383] true humour.
Pist.
384Thou art the Mars of Malecontents: I second [l. 385] thee: troope on.
Scœna Quarta.
[Act 1, Scene 4]
Caius, Fenton.
Qu.
386What, Iohn Rugby, I pray thee goe to the Case [l. 387] ment, and see if you can see my Master, Master Docter [l. 388] Caius comming: if he doe (I'faith) and finde any body [l. 389] in the house; here will be an old abusing of Gods pati [l. 390] ence, and the Kings English.
Ru.
Qu.
392Goe, and we'll haue a posset for't soone at night, [l. 393] (in faith) at the latter end of a Sea‑cole‑fire: An honest, [l. 394] willing, kinde fellow, as euer seruant shall come in house [l. 395] withall: and I warrant you, no tel‑tale, nor no breede‑ [l. 396] bate: his worst fault is, that he is giuen to prayer; hee is [l. 397] something peeuish that way: but no body but has his [l. 398] fault: but let that passe. Peter Simple, you say your [l. 399] name is?
Si.
Qu.
Si.
Qu.
Si.
405No forsooth: he hath but a little weeߛface; [l. 406] with a little yellow Beard: a Caine colourd Beard.
Qu.
Si.
408I forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as [l. 409] any is betweene this and his head: he hath fought with [l. 410] a Warrener.
Qu.
411How say you: oh, I should remember him: do's [l. 412] he not hold vp his head (as it were?) and strut in his gate?
Si.
Qu.
Ru.
Qu.
418We shall all be shent: Run in here, good young [l. 419] man: goe into this Closset: he will not stay long: what [l. 420] Iohn Rugby? Iohn: what Iohn I say? goe Iohn, goe en [l. 421] quire for my Master, I doubt he be not well, that hee [l. 422] comes not home: (and downe, downe, adowne'a. &c.
Ca.
423Vat is you sing? I doe not like des‑toyes: pray [l. 424] you goe and vetch me in my Closset, vnboyteene verd; [l. 425] a Box, a greene‑a‑Box: do intend vat I speake? a greene‑ [l. 426] a‑Box.
Qu.
yong man he would haue bin horne‑mad.
Ca.
Qu.
Ca.
Qu.
Ru.
Ca.
the Court.
Ru.
Ca.
439By my trot: I tarry too long: od's‑me: que ay ie [l. 440] oublie: dere is some Simples in my Closset, dat I vill not [l. 441] for the varld I shall leaue behinde.
Qu.
Ca.
Qu.
Ca.
Qu.
Ca.
448What shall de honest man do in my Closset: dere [l. 449] is no honest man dat shall come in my Closset.
Qu.
450I beseech you be not so flegmaticke: heare the [l. 451] truth of it. He came of an errand to mee, from Parson [l. 452] Hugh.
Ca.
Si.
Qu.
Ca.
Si.
457To desire this honest Gentlewoman (your Maid) [l. 458] to speake a good word to Mistris Anne Page, for my Ma [l. 459] ster in the way of Marriage.
Qu.
460This is all indeed‑la: but ile nere put my finger [l. 461] in the fire, and neede not.
Ca.
462Sir Hugh send‑a you? Rugby, ballow mee some [l. 463] paper: tarry you a littell‑a‑while.
![[p. 43]](FFimg:axc0063-0.jpg){kind=link}
Qui.
464I am glad he is so quiet: if he had bin through [l. 465] ly moued, you should haue heard him so loud, and so me [l. 466] lancholly: but notwithstanding man, Ile doe yoe your [l. 467] Master what good I can: and the very yea, & the no is, yͤ [l. 468] French Doctor my Master, (I may call him my Master, [l. 469] looke you, for I keepe his house; and I wash, ring, brew, [l. 470] bake, scowre, dresse meat and drinke, make the beds, and [l. 471] doe all my selfe.)
Simp.
472'Tis a great charge to come vnder one bodies [l. 473] hand.
Qui.
474Are you a‑uis'd o'that? you shall finde it a great [l. 475] charge: and to be vp early, and down late: but notwith [l. 476] standing, (to tell you in your eare, I wold haue no words [l. 477] of it) my Master himselfe is in loue with Mistris Anne [l. 478] Page: but notwithstanding that I know Ans mind, that's [l. 479] neither heere nor there.
Caius.
480You, Iack'Nape: giue‑'a this Letter to Sir [l. 481] Hugh, by gar it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de [l. 482] Parke, and I will teach a scuruy Iack‑a‑nape Priest to [l. 483] meddle, or make: — you may be gon: it is not good [l. 484] you tarry here: by gar I will cut all his two stones: by [l. 485] gar, he shall not haue a stone to throw at his dogge.
Qui.
Caius.
487It is no matter 'a ver dat: do not you tell‑a‑me [l. 488] dat I shall haue Anne Page for my selfe? by gar, I vill [l. 489] kill de Iack‑Priest: and I haue appointed mine Host of [l. 490] de Iarteer to measure our weapon: by gar, I wil my selfe [l. 491] haue Anne Page.
Qui.
Caius.
I haue not Anne Page, I shall turne your head out of my
dore: follow my heeles, Rugby.
Qui.
495You shall haue An‑fooles head of your owne: [l. 496] No, I know Ans mind for that: neuer a woman in Wind [l. 497] sor knowes more of Ans minde then I doe, nor can doe [l. 498] more then I doe with her, I thanke heauen.
Fenton.
Qui.
pray you.
Fen.
Qui.
to aske?
Fen.
Qui.
504In truth Sir, and shee is pretty, and honest, and [l. 505] gentle, and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by [l. 506] the way, I praise heauen for it.
Fen.
loose my suit?
Qui.
508Troth Sir, all is in his hands aboue: but not [l. 509] withstanding (Master Fenton) Ile be sworne on a booke [l. 510] shee loues you: haue not your Worship a wart aboue [l. 511] your eye?
Fen.
Qui.
513Wel, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such [l. 514] another Nan; (but (I detest) an honest maid as euer [l. 515] broke bread: wee had an howres talke of that wart; I [l. 516] shall neuer laugh but in that maids company: but (in [l. 517] deed) shee is giuen too much to Allicholy and musing: [l. 518] but for you— well— goe too⸺
Fen.
519Well: I shall see her to day: hold, there's mo [l. 520] ney for thee: Let mee haue thy voice in my behalfe: if [l. 521] thou seest her before me, commend me.⸺
Qui.
522Will I? I faith that wee will: And I will tell [l. 523] your Worship more of the Wart, the next time we haue [l. 524] confidence, and of other wooers.
Fen.
Qui.
526Fare‑well to your Worship: truely an honest [l. 527] Gentleman: but Anne loues hiim not: for I know Ans [l. 528] minde as well as another do's: out vpon't: what haue I [l. 529] forgot.
Actus Secundus. Scœna Prima.
[Act 2, Scene 1]
Ford, Pistoll, Nim, Quickly, Host, Shallow.
Mist.Page.
530What, haue scap'd Loue‑letters in the [l. 531] holly‑day‑time of my beauty, and am I now a subiect [l. 532] for them? let me see?
533Aske me no reason why I loue you, for though Loue vse Rea [l. 534] son for his precisian, hee admits him not for his Counsailour: [l. 535] you are not yong, no more am I: goe to then, there's simpathie: [l. 536] you are merry, so am I: ha, ha, then there's more simpathie: [l. 537] you loue sacke, and so do I: would you desire better simpathie? [l. 538] Let it suffice thee (Mistris Page) at the least if the Loue of [l. 539] Souldier can suffice, that I loue thee: I will not say pitty mee, [l. 540] 'tis not a Souldier‑like phrase; but I say, loue me:
Mis.Ford.
house.
Mis.Page.
looke very ill.
Mis.Ford.
to the contrary.
Mis.Page.
Mis.Ford.
559Well: I doe then: yet I say, I could shew [l. 560] you to the contrary: O Mistris Page, giue mee some [l. 561] counsaile.
Mis.Page.
Mi.Ford.
spect,I could come to such honour.
Mi.Page.
564Hang the trifle (woman) take the honour: [l. 565] what is it? dispence with trifles: what is it?
Mi.Ford.
566If I would but goe to hell, for an eternall [l. 567] moment, or so: I could be knighted.
Mi.Page.
568What thou liest? Sir Alice Ford? these [l. 569] Knights will hacke, and so thou shouldst not alter the ar [l. 570] ticle of thy Gentry.
Mi.Ford.
571Wee burne day‑light: heere, read, read: [l. 572] perceiue how I might bee knighted, I shall thinke the [l. 573] worse of fat men, as long as I haue an eye to make diffe [l. 574] rence of mens liking: and yet hee would not sweare: praise [p. 44] The Merry Wiues of Windsor. [l. 575] praise womens modesty: and gaue such orderly and wel‑ [l. 576] behaued reproofe to al vncomelinesse, that I would haue [l. 577] sworne his disposition would haue gone to the truth of [l. 578] his words: but they doe no more adhere and keep place [l. 579] together, then the hundred Psalms to the tune of Greensleeues: What tempest (I troa) threw this Whale, (with [l. 580] so many Tuns of oyle in his belly) a'shoare at Windsor? [l. 581] How shall I bee reuenged on him? I thinke the best way [l. 582] were, to entertaine him with hope, till the wicked fire [l. 583] of lust haue melted him in his owne greace: Did you e [l. 584] uer heare the like?
![[p. 44]](FFimg:axc0064-0.jpg){kind=link}
Mis.Page.
585Letter for letter; but that the name of [l. 586] Page and Ford differs: to thy great comfort in this my [l. 587] stery of ill opinions, heere's the twyn‑brother of thy Let [l. 588] ter: but let thine inherit first, for I protest mine neuer [l. 589] shall: I warrant he hath a thousand of these Letters, writ [l. 590] with blancke‑space for different names (sure more): and [l. 591] these are of the second edition: hee will print them out [l. 592] of doubt: for he cares not what hee puts into the presse, [l. 593] when he would put vs two: I had rather be a Giantesse, [l. 594] and lye vnder Mount Pelion: Well; I will find you twen [l. 595] tie lasciuious Turtles ere one chaste man.
Mis.Ford.
596Why this is the very same: the very hand: [l. 597] the very words: what doth he thinke of vs?
Mis.Page.
598Nay I know not: it makes me almost rea [l. 599] die to wrangle with mine owne honesty: Ile entertaine [l. 600] my selfe like one that I am not acquainted withall: for [l. 601] sure vnlesse hee know some straine in mee, that I know [l. 602] not my selfe, hee would neuer haue boorded me in this [l. 603] furie.
Mi.Ford.
604Boording, call you it? Ile bee sure to keepe [l. 605] him aboue decke.
Mi.Page.
606So will I: if hee come vnder my hatches, [l. 607] Ile neuer to Sea againe: Let's bee reueng'd on him: let's [l. 608] appoint him a meeting: giue him a show of comfort in [l. 609] his Suit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till hee [l. 610] hath pawn'd his horses to mine Host of the Garter.
Mi.Ford.
611Nay, I wil consent to act any villany against [l. 612] him, that may not sully the charinesse of our honesty: oh [l. 613] that my husband saw this Letter: it would giue eternall [l. 614] food to his iealousie.
Mis.Page.
615Why look where he comes; and my good [l. 616] man too: hee's as farre from iealousie, as I am from gi [l. 617] uing him cause, and that (I hope) is an vnmeasurable di [l. 618] stance.
Mis.Ford.
Mis.Page.
620Let's consult together against this greasie [l. 621] Knight: Come hither.
Ford.
Pist.
Ford.
Pist.
both yong and old, one with another (Ford) he loues the
Ford.
Pist.
Ford.
Pist.
Ford.
Nim.
639And this is true: I like not the humor of lying: [l. 640] hee hath wronged mee in some humors: I should haue [l. 641] borne the humour'd Letter to her: but I haue a sword: [l. 642] and it shall bite vpon my necessitie: he loues your wife; [l. 643] There's the short and the long: My name is Corporall [l. 644] Nim: I speak, and I auouch; 'tis true: my name is Nim: [l. 645] and Falstaffe loues your wife: adieu, I loue not the hu [l. 646] mour of bread and cheese: adieu.
Page.
frights English out of his wits.
Ford.
Page.
Ford.
Page.
Priest o' th' Towne commended him for a true man.
Ford.
Page.
Mist.Page.
Mis.Ford.
lancholy?
Ford.
Mis.Ford.
Mis.Page.
660Haue with you: you'll come to dinner [l. 661] George? Looke who comes yonder: shee shall bee our [l. 662] Messenger to this paltrie Knight.
Mis.Ford.
Mis.Page.
Qui.
Anne?
Mis.Page.
talke with you.
Page.
For.
Page.
Ford.
Pag.
671Hang 'em slaues: I doe not thinke the Knight [l. 672] would offer it: But these that accuse him in his intent [l. 673] towards our wiues, are a yoake of his discarded men: ve‑ [l. 674] ry rogues, now they be out of seruice.
Ford.
Page.
Ford.
Page.
679I marry do's he: if hee should intend this voy [l. 680] age toward my wife, I would turne her loose to him; [l. 681] and what hee gets more of her, then sharpe words, let it [l. 682] lye on my head.
Ford.
683I doe not misdoubt my wife: but I would bee [l. 684] loath to turne them together: a man may be too confi [l. 685] dent: I would haue nothing lye on my head: I cannot [l. 686] be thus satisfied.
Page.
687Looke where my ranting‑Host of the Garter [l. 688] comes: there is eyther liquor in his pate, or mony in his [l. 689] purse, when hee lookes so merrily: How now mine [l. 690] Host?
Host.
Shal.
693I follow, (mine Host) I follow: Good‑euen, [l. 694] and twenty (good Master Page.) Master Page, wil you go [l. 695] with vs? we haue sport in hand.
Host.
Rooke.
Shall.
Hugh the Welch Priest, and Caius the French Doctor.
![[p. 45]](FFimg:axc0065-0.jpg){kind=link}
Ford.
Host.
Shal.
700Will you goe with vs to behold it? My merry [l. 701] Host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and (I [l. 702] thinke) hath appointed them contrary places: for (be [l. 703] leeue mee) I heare the Parson is no Iester: harke, I will [l. 704] tell you what our sport shall be.
Host.
Caualeire?
Shal.
706None, I protest: but Ile giue you a pottle of [l. 707] burn'd sacke, to giue me recourse to him, and tell him [l. 708] my name is Broome: onely for a iest.
Host.
709My hand, (Bully:) thou shalt haue egresse and [l. 710] regresse, (said I well?) and thy name shall be Broome. It [l. 711] is a merry Knight: will you goe An‑heires?
Shal.
Page.
in his Rapier.
Shal.
714Tut sir: I could haue told you more: In these [l. 715] times you stand on distance: your Passes, Stoccado's, and [l. 716] I know not what: 'tis the heart (Master Page) 'tis heere, [l. 717] 'tis heere: I haue seene the time, with my long‑sword, I [l. 718] would haue made you fowre tall fellowes skippe like [l. 719] Rattes.
Host.
Page.
then fight.
Ford.
722Though Page be a secure foole, and stands so [l. 723] firmely on his wiues frailty; yet, I cannot put‑off my o [l. 724] pinion so easily: she was in his company at Pages house: [l. 725] and what they made there, I know not. Well, I wil looke [l. 726] further into't, and I haue a disguise, to sound Falstaffe; if [l. 727] I finde her honest, I loose not my labor: if she be other [l. 728] wise, 'tis labour well bestowed.
Scœna Secunda
[Act 2, Scene 2]
Ford.
Fal.
Pist.
with sword will open.
Fal.
731Not a penny: I haue beene content (Sir,) you [l. 732] should lay my countenance to pawne: I haue grated vp [l. 733] on my good friends for three Repreeues for you, and [l. 734] your Coach‑fellow Nim; or else you had look'd through [l. 735] the grate, like a Geminy of Baboones: I am damn'd in [l. 736] hell, for swearing to Gentlemen my friends, you were [l. 737] good Souldiers, and tall‑fellowes. And when Mistresse [l. 738] Briget lost the handle of her Fan, I took't vpon mine ho [l. 739] nour thou hadst it not.
Pist.
pence?
Fal.
741Reason, you roague, reason: thinkst thou Ile en [l. 742] danger my soule, gratis? at a word, hang no more about [l. 743] mee, I am no gibbet for you: goe, a short knife, and a [l. 744] throng, to your Mannor of Pickt‑hatch: goe, you'll not [l. 745] beare a Letter for mee you roague? you stand vpon your [l. 746] honor: why, (thou vnconfinable basenesse) it is as much [l. 747] as I can doe to keepe the termes of my honor precise: [l. 748] I, I, I my selfe sometimes, leauing the feare of heauen on [l. 749] the left hand, and hiding mine honor in my necessity, am [l. 750] faine to shufflle: to hedge, and to lurch, and yet, you [l. 751] Rogue, will en‑sconce your raggs; your Cat‑a‑Moun [l. 752] taine‑lookes, your red‑lattice phrases, and your bold‑ [l. 753] beating‑oathes, vnder the shelter of your honor? you [l. 754] will not doe it? you?
Pist.
Robin.
Fal.
Qui.
Fal.
Qui.
Fal.
Qui.
Fal.
Qui.
two?
Fal.
thee the hearing.
Qui.
767There is one Mistresse Ford, (Sir) I pray come a [l. 768] little neerer this waies: I my selfe dwell with M. Doctor [l. 769] Caius:
Fal.
Qui.
771Your worship saies very true: I pray your wor [l. 772] ship come a little neerer this waies.
Fal.
773I warrant thee, no‑bodie heares: mine owne [l. 774] people, mine owne people
Qui.
775Are they so? heauen‑blesse them, and make [l. 776] them his Seruants.
Fal.
Qui.
778Why, Sir; shee's a good‑creature; Lord, Lord, [l. 779] your Worship's a wanton: well: heauen forgiue you, [l. 780] and all of vs, I pray—
Fal.
Qui.
782Marry this is the short, and the long of it: you [l. 783] haue brought her into such a Canaries, as 'tis wonder [l. 784] full: the best Courtier of them all (when the Court lay [l. 785] at Windsor) could neuer haue brought her to such a Ca [l. 786] narie: yet there has beene Knights, and Lords, and Gen [l. 787] tlemen, with their Coaches; I warrant you Coach after [l. 788] Coach, letter after letter, gift after gift, smelling so sweet [l. 789] ly; all Muske, and so rushling, I warrant you, in silke [l. 790] and golde, and in such alligant termes, and in such wine [l. 791] and suger of the best, and the fairest, that would haue [l. 792] wonne any womans heart: and I warrant you, they could [l. 793] neuer get an eyeߛwinke of her: I had my selfe twentie [l. 794] Angels giuen me this morning, but I defie all Angels (in [l. 795] any such sort, as they say) but in the way of honesty: and [l. 796] I warrant you, they could neuer get her so much as sippe [l. 797] on a cup with the prowdest of them all, and yet there has [l. 798] beene Earles: nay, (which is more) Pentioners, but I [l. 799] warrant you all is one with her.
Fal.
shee‑Mercurie.
Qui.
801Marry, she hath receiu'd your Letter: for the [l. 802] which she thankes you a thousand times; and she giues [l. 803] you to notifie, that her husband will be absence from his [l. 804] house, betweene ten and eleuen.
Fal.
Qui.
806I, forsooth: and then you may come and see the [l. 807] picture (she sayes) that you wot of: Master Ford her hus [l. 808] band will be from home: alas, the sweet woman leades [l. 809] an ill life with him: hee's a very iealousie‑man; she leads [l. 810] a very frampold life with him, (good hart.)
Fal.
![[p. 46]](FFimg:axc0066-0.jpg){kind=link}
Qui.
813Why, you say well: But I haue another messen [l. 814] ger to your worship: Mistresse Page hath her heartie [l. 815] commendations to you to: and let mee tell you in your [l. 816] eare, shee's as fartuous a ciuill modest wife, and one (I [l. 817] tell you) that will not misse you morning nor euening [l. 818] prayer, as any is in Windsor, who ere bee the other: and [l. 819] shee bade me tell your worship, that her husband is sel [l. 820] dome from home, but she hopes there will come a time. [l. 821] I neuer knew a woman so doate vpon a man; surely I [l. 822] thinke you haue charmes, la: yes in truth.
Fal.
823Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my [l. 824] good parts aside, I haue no other charmes.
Qui.
Fal.
826But I pray thee tell me this: has Fords wife, and [l. 827] Pages wife acquainted each other, how they loue me?
Qui.
828That were a iest indeed: they haue not so little [l. 829] grace I hope, that were a tricke indeed: But Mistris Page [l. 830] would desire you to send her your little Page of al loues: [l. 831] her husband has a maruellous infection to the little Page: [l. 832] and truely Master Page is an honest man: neuer a wife in [l. 833] Windsor leades a better life then she do's: doe what shee [l. 834] will, say what she will, take all, pay all, goe to bed when [l. 835] she list, rise when she list, all is as she will: and truly she [l. 836] deserues it; for if there be a kinde woman in Windsor, she [l. 837] is one: you must send her your Page, no remedie.
Fal.
Qu.
839Nay, but doe so then, and looke you, hee may [l. 840] come and goe betweene you both: and in any case haue [l. 841] a nay‑word, that you may know one anothers minde, [l. 842] and the Boy neuer neede to vnderstand any thing; for' [l. 843] tis not good that children should know any wickednes: [l. 844] olde folkes you know, haue discretion, as they say, and [l. 845] know the world.
Fal.
846Farethee‑well, commend mee to them both: [l. 847] there's my purse, I am yet thy debter: Boy, goe along [l. 848] with this woman, this newes distracts me.
Pist.
Fal.
852Saist thou so (old Iacke) go thy waies: Ile make [l. 853] more of thy olde body then I haue done: will they yet [l. 854] looke after thee? wilt thou after the expence of so much [l. 855] money, be now a gainer? good Body, I thanke thee: let [l. 856] them say 'tis grossely done, so it bee fairely done, no [l. 857] matter.
Bar.
858Sir Iohn, there's one Master Broome below would [l. 859] faine speake with you, and be acquainted with you; and [l. 860] hath sent your worship a mornings draught of Sacke.
Fal.
Bar.
Fal.
863Call him in: such Broomes are welcome to mee, [l. 864] that ore'flowes such liquor: ah ha, Mistresse Ford and Mi [l. 865] stresse Page, haue I encompass'd you? goe to, via.
Ford.
Fal.
Ford.
868I make bold, to presse, with so little prepara [l. 869] tion vpon you.
Fal.
Drawer.
Ford.
my name is Broome.
Fal.
of you.
Ford.
873Good Sir Iohn, I sue for yours: not to charge [l. 874] you, for I must let you vnderstand, I thinke my selfe in [l. 875] better plight for a Lender, then you are: the which hath [l. 876] something emboldned me to this vnseason'd intrusion: [l. 877] for they say, if money goe before, all waies doe lye [l. 878] open.
Fal.
Ford.
880Troth, and I haue a bag of money heere trou [l. 881] bles me: if you will helpe to beare it (Sir Iohn) take all, [l. 882] or halfe, for easing me of the carriage.
Fal.
Porter.
Ford.
ring.
Fal.
885Speake (good Master Broome) I shall be glad to [l. 886] be your Seruant.
Ford.
887Sir, I heare you are a Scholler: (I will be briefe [l. 888] with you) and you haue been a man long knowne to me, [l. 889] though I had neuer so good means as desire, to make my [l. 890] selfe acquainted with you. I shall discouer a thing to [l. 891] you, wherein I must very much lay open mine owne im [l. 892] perfection: but (good Sir Iohn) as you haue one eye vp [l. 893] on my follies, as you heare them vnfolded, turne another [l. 894] into the Register of your owne, that I may passe with a [l. 895] reproofe the easier, sith you your selfe know how easie it [l. 896] is to be such an offender.
Fal.
Ford.
husbands name is Ford.
Fal.
Ford.
900I haue long lou'd her, and I protest to you, be [l. 901] stowed much on her: followed her with a doating ob [l. 902] seruance: Ingross'd opportunities to meete her: fee'd e [l. 903] uery slight occasion that could but nigardly giue mee [l. 904] sight of her: not only bought many presents to giue her, [l. 905] but haue giuen largely to many, to know what shee [l. 906] would haue giuen: briefly, I haue pursu'd her, as Loue [l. 907] hath pursued mee, which hath beene on the wing of all [l. 908] occasions: but whatsoeuer I haue merited, either in my [l. 909] minde, or in my meanes, meede I am sure I haue receiued [l. 910] none, vnlesse Experience be a Iewell, that I haue purcha [l. 911] sed at an infinite rate, and that hath taught mee to say [l. 912] this,
Fal.
her hands?
Ford.
Fal.
Ford.
Fal.
Ford.
920Like a fair house, built on another mans ground, [l. 921] so that I haue lost my edifice, by mistaking the place, [l. 922] where I erected it.
Fal.
For.
924When I haue told you that, I haue told you all: [l. 925] Some say, that though she appeare honest to mee, yet in [l. 926] other places shee enlargeth her mirth so farre, that there [l. 927] is shrewd construction made of her. Now (Sir Iohn) here [l. 928] is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of ex [l. 929] cellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admit [l. 930] tance, authenticke in your place and person, generally [l. 931] allow'd for your many war⸗like, court‑like, and learned [l. 932] preparations.
Fal.
Ford.
934Beleeue it, for you know it: there is money, [l. 935] spend it, spend it, spend more; spend all I haue, onely giue [p. 47] The Merry Wiues of Windsor. [l. 936] giue me so much of your time in enchange of it, as to lay [l. 937] an amiable siege to the honesty of this Fords wife: vse [l. 938] your Art of wooing; win her to consent to you: if any [l. 939] man may, you may as soone as any.
![[p. 47]](FFimg:axc0067-0.jpg){kind=link}
Fal.
940Would it apply well to the vehemency of your [l. 941] affection that I should win what you would enioy? Me [l. 942] thinkes you prescribe to your selfe very preposterously.
Ford.
943O, vnderstand my drift: she dwells so securely [l. 944] on the excellency of her honor, that the folly of my soule [l. 945] dares not present it selfe: shee is too bright to be look'd [l. 946] against. Now, could I come to her with any detection [l. 947] in my hand; my desires had instance and argument to [l. 948] commend themselues, I could driue her then from the [l. 949] ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage‑vow, [l. 950] and a thousand other her defences, which now are too‑ [l. 951] too strongly embattaild against me: what say you too't, [l. 952] Sir Iohn?
Fal.
953Master Broome, I will first make bold with your [l. 954] money: next, giue mee your hand: and last, as I am a [l. 955] gentleman, you shall, if you will, enioy Fords wife.
Ford.
Fal.
Ford.
Fal.
959Want no Mistresse Ford (Master Broome) you shall [l. 960] want none: I shall be with her (I may tell you) by her [l. 961] owne appointment, euen as you came in to me, her assi [l. 962] stant, or goe‑betweene, parted from me: I say I shall be [l. 963] with her betweene ten and eleuen: for at that time the [l. 964] iealious‑rascally‑knaue her husband will be forth: come [l. 965] you to me at night, you shall know how I speed.
Ford.
Ford Sir?
Fal.
967Hang him (poore Cuckoldly knaue) I know [l. 968] him not: yet I wrong him to call him poore: They say [l. 969] the iealous wittolly‑knaue hath masses of money, for [l. 970] the which his wife seemes to me well‑fauourd: I will vse [l. 971] her as the key of the Cuckoldly‑rogues Coffer, & ther's [l. 972] my haruest‑home.
Ford.
973I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might a [l. 974] uoid him, if you saw him.
Fal.
975Hang him, mechanicall‑salt‑butter rogue; I wil [l. 976] stare him out of his wits: I will awe‑him with my cud [l. 977] gell: it shall hang like a Meteor ore the Cuckolds horns: [l. 978] Master Broome, thou shalt know, I will predominate o [l. 979] uer the pezant, and thou shalt lye with his wife. Come [l. 980] to me soone at night: Ford's a knaue, and I will aggra [l. 981] uate his stile: thou (Master Broome) shalt know him for [l. 982] knaue, and Cuckold. Come to me soone at night.
Ford.
983What a damn'd EpicurianߛRascall is this? my [l. 984] heart is ready to cracke with impatience: who saies this is [l. 985] improuident iealousie? my wife hath sent to him, the [l. 986] howre is fixt, the match is made: would any man haue [l. 987] thought this? see the hell of hauing a false woman: my [l. 988] bed shall be abus'd, my Coffers ransack'd, my reputati [l. 989] on gnawne at, and I shall not onely receiue this villainous [l. 990] wrong, but stand vnder the adoption of abhominable [l. 991] termes, and by him that does mee this wrong: Termes, [l. 992] names: Amaimon sounds well: Lucifer, well: Barbason, [l. 993] well: yet they are Diuels additions, the names of fiends: [l. 994] But Cuckold, Wittoll, Cuckold? the Diuell himselfe [l. 995] hath not such a name. Page is an Asse, a secure Asse; hee [l. 996] will trust his wife, hee will not be iealous: I will rather [l. 997] trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welsh [l. 998] man with my Cheese, an Irish‑man with my Aqua‑vitæ‑bottle, [l. 999] or a Theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then [l. 1000] my wife with her selfe. Then she plots, then shee rumi [l. 1001] nates, then shee deuises: and what they thinke in their [l. 1002] hearts they may effect; they will breake their hearts but [l. 1003] they will effect. Heauen bee prais'd for my iealousie: [l. 1004] eleuen o'clocke the howre, I will preuent this, detect [l. 1005] my wife, bee reueng'd on Falstaffe, and laugh at Page. I [l. 1006] will about it, better three houres too soone, then a my [l. 1007] nute too late: fie, fie, fie: Cuckold, Cuckold, Cuckold.
Scena Tertia.
[Act 2, Scene 3]
Caius.
Rug.
Caius.
Rug.
to meet.
Cai.
1012By gar, he has saue his soule, dat he is no‑come: [l. 1013] hee has pray his Pible well, dat he is no‑come: by gar [l. 1014] (Iack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come.
Rug.
1015Hee is wise Sir: hee knew your worship would [l. 1016] kill him if he came.
Cai.
1017By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill [l. 1018] him: take your Rapier, (Iacke) I vill tell you how I vill [l. 1019] kill him.
Rug.
Cai.
Rug.
Host.
Shal.
Page.
Slen.
Caius.
Host.
1028To see thee fight, to see thee foigne, to see thee [l. 1029] trauerse, to see thee heere, to see thee there, to see thee [l. 1030] passe thy puncto, thy stock, thy reuerse, thy distance, thy [l. 1031] montant: Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Fran [l. 1032] cisco? ha Bully? what saies my Esculapius? my Galien? my [l. 1033] heart of Elder? ha? is he dead bully‑Stale? is he dead?
Cai.
1034By gar, he is de Coward‑Iack‑Priest of de vorld: [l. 1035] he is not show his face.
Host.
Greece (my Boy)
Cai.
1037I pray you beare witnesse, that me haue stay, [l. 1038] sixe or seuen, two tree howres for him, and hee is no‑ [l. 1039] come.
Shal.
1040He is the wiser man (M.Docto) rhe (M. Doctor) he is a curer of
[l. 1041] soules, and you a curer of bodies: if you should
fight, you [l. 1042] goe against the haire of your
professions: is it not true, [l. 1043] Master Page?
Page.
great fighter, though now a man of peace.
Shal.
1045Body‑kins M. Page, though I now be old, and [l. 1046] of the peace; if I see a sword out, my finger itches to [l. 1047] make one: though wee are Iustices, and Doctors, and [l. 1048] Church‑men (M. Page) wee haue some salt of our youth [l. 1049] in vs, we are the sons of women (M. Page.)
Page.
1050'Tis true, Mr. Shallow.
Shal.
1051It wil be found so, (M. Page:) M. Doctor Caius, [l. 1052] I am come to fetch you home: I am sworn of the peace: [l. 1053] you haue show'd your selfe a wise Physician, and Sir [l. 1054] Hugh hath showne himselfe a wise and patient Church [l. 1055] man: you must goe with me, M. Doctor.
![[p. 48]](FFimg:axc0068-0.jpg){kind=link}
Host.
water
Cai.
Host.
(Bully.)
Cai.
Englishman: scuruy‑Iack‑dog‑Priest: by gar, mee vill
cut his eares.
Host.
Cai.
Host.
Cai.
me, for by‐gar, me vill haue it.
Host.
Cai.
Host.
1066And moreouer, (Bully) but first, Mr. Ghuest, [l. 1067] and M. Page, & eeke Caualeiro Slender, goe you through [l. 1068] the Towne to Frogmore.
Page.
Host.
bring the Doctor about by the Fields: will it doe well?
Shal.
All.
Cai.
Iack‑an‑Ape to Anne Page.
Host.
1074Let him die: sheath thy impatience: throw cold [l. 1075] water on thy Choller: goe about the fields with mee [l. 1076] through Frogmore, I will bring thee where Mistris Anne [l. 1077] Page is, at a Farm‑house a Feasting: and thou shalt wooe [l. 1078] her: Cride‑game, said I well?
Cai.
1079By‑gar, mee dancke you vor dat: by gar I loue [l. 1080] you: and I shall procure 'a you de good Guest: de Earle, [l. 1081] de Knight, de Lords, de Gentlemen, my patients.
Host.
Anne Page: said I well?
Cai.
Host.
Cai.
Actus Tertius. Scœna Prima.
[Act 3, Scene 1]
Rugby.
Euans.
1086I pray you now, good Master Slenders seruing [l. 1087] man, and friend Simple by your name; which way haue [l. 1088] you look'd for Master Caius, that calls himselfe Doctor [l. 1089] of Phisicke.
Sim.
euery way: olde Windsor way, and euery way but the
Towne‑way.
Euan.
1091I most‑fehemently desire you, you will also [l. 1092] looke that way.
Sim.
Euan.
1094'Plesse my soule: how full of Chollors I am, and [l. 1095] trempling of minde: I shall be glad if he haue deceiued [l. 1096] me: how melancholies I am? I will knog his Vrinalls a [l. 1097] bout his knaues costard, when I haue good opportunities [l. 1098] for the orke: 'Plesse my soule: To shallow Riuers to whose [l. 1099] falls: melodious Birds sings Madrigalls: There will we make [l. 1100] our Peds of Roses: and a thousand fragrant posies. To shal [l. 1101] low: 'Mercie on mee, I haue a great dispositions to cry. [l. 1102] Melodious birds sing Madrigalls: —When as I sat in Pa [l. 1103] bilon: and a thousand vagram Posies. To shallow, &c.
Sim.
Euan.
Sim.
Shallow, and another Gentleman; from Frogmore, ouer
the stile, this way.
Euan.
in your armes.
Shal.
Sir Hugh: keepe a Gamester from the dice, and a good
Studient from his booke, and it is wonderfull.
Slen.
Page.
Euan.
Shal.
Page.
this raw‑rumaticke day?
Euan.
Page.
Parson.
Euan.
Page.
1119Yonder is a most reuerend Gentleman; who [l. 1120] (be‑like) hauing receiued wrong by some person, is at [l. 1121] most odds with his owne grauity and patience, that euer [l. 1122] you saw.
Shal.
1123I haue liued foure‑score yeeres, and vpward: I [l. 1124] neuer heard a man of his place, grauity, and learning, so [l. 1125] wide of his owne respect.
Euan.
Page.
1127I thinke you know him: Mr. Doctor Caius the [l. 1128] renowned French Physician.
Euan.
1129Got's‑will, and his passion of my heart: I had [l. 1130] as lief you would tell me of a messe of porredge.
Page.
Euan.
Galen, and hee is a knaue besides: a cowardly knaue, as
you would desires to be acquainted withall.
Page.
him.
Slen.
Shal.
sunder: here comes Doctor Caius.
Page.
Shal.
Host.
keepe their limbs whole, and hack our English.
Cai.
1139I pray you let‑a‑mee speake a word with your [l. 1140] eare; vherefore vill you not meet‑a me?
Euan.
Cai.
Ape.
Euan.
1143Pray you let vs not be laughing‑stocks to other [l. 1144] mens humors: I desire you in friendship, and I will one [l. 1145] way or other make you amends: I will knog your Vrinal [l. 1146] about your knaues Cogs‑combe.
Cai.
1147Diable: Iack Rugby: mine Host de Iarteer: haue I [l. 1148] not stay for him, to kill him? haue I not at de place I did [l. 1149] appoint?
Euan.
this is the place appointed, Ile bee iudgement by mine
Host of the Garter.
Host.
Soule‑Curer, and Body‑Curer.
![[p. 49]](FFimg:axc0069-0.jpg){kind=link}
Cai.
Host.
1155Shall I loose my Doctor? No, hee giues me the Potions [l. 1156] and the Motions. Shall I loose my Parson? my Priest? [l. 1157] my Sir Hugh? No, he giues me the Prouerbes, and the [l. 1158] No‑verbes. Giue me thy hand (Celestiall) so: Boyes of [l. 1159] Art, I haue deceiu'd you both: I haue directed you to [l. 1160] wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skinnes are [l. 1161] whole, and let burn'd Sacke be the issue: Come, lay their [l. 1162] swords to pawne: Follow me, Lad of peace, follow, fol [l. 1163] low, follow.
Shal.
low.
Slen.
Cai.
of vs, ha, ha?
Eua.
1167This is well, he has made vs his vlowting‑stog: [l. 1168] I desire you that we may be friends: and let vs knog our [l. 1169] praines together to be reuenge on this same scall‑scur [l. 1170] uy‑cogging‑companion the Host of the Garter.
Cai.
1171By gar, with all my heart: he promise to bring [l. 1172] me where is Anne Page: by gar he deceiue me too.
Euan.
1173Well, I will smite his noddles: pray you follow.
Scena Secunda.
[Act 3, Scene 2]
Euans, Caius.
Mist.Page.
1174Nay keepe your way (little Gallant) you [l. 1175] were wont to be a follower, but now you are a Leader: [l. 1176] whether had your rather lead mine eyes, or eye your ma [l. 1177] sters heeles?
Rob.
1178I had rather (forsooth) go before you like a man, [l. 1179] then follow him like a dwarfe.
M. Pa.
(Courtier.
Ford.
M. Pa.
Ford.
of company: I think if your husbands were dead, you
two would marry.
M.Pa.
Ford.
M.Pa.
husband had him of, what do you cal your Knights name
(sirrah?
Rob.
Ford.
M. Pa.
league between my goodman, and he: is your Wife at
(home indeed?
Ford.
M.Pa.
Ford.
1192Has Page any braines? Hath he any eies? Hath he [l. 1193] any thinking? Sure they sleepe, he hath no vse of them: [l. 1194] why this boy will carrie a letter twentie mile as easie, as [l. 1195] a Canon will shoot point‑blanke twelue score: hee pee [l. 1196] ces out his wiues inclination: he giues her folly motion [l. 1197] and aduantage: and now she's going to my wife, Fal [l. 1198] staffes boy with her: A man may heare this showre sing [l. 1199] in the winde; and Falstaffes boy with her: good plots, [l. 1200] they are laide, and our reuolted wiues share damnation [l. 1201] together. Well, I will take him, then torture my wife, [l. 1202] plucke the borrowed vaile of modestie from the so‑see [l. 1203] ming Mist. Page, divulge Page himselfe for a secure and [l. 1204] wilfull Acteon, and to these violent proceedings all my [l. 1205] neighbors shall cry aime. The clocke giues my Qu, [l. 1206] and my assurance bids me search, there I shall finde Fal [l. 1207] staffe: I shall be rather praisd for this, then mock'd, for [l. 1208] it is as possitiue, as the earth is firme, that Falstaffe is [l. 1209] there: I will go.
Shal. Page &c.
1210Well met Mr Ford.
Ford.
1211Trust me a good knotte; I haue good cheere at [l. 1212] home, and I pray you all go with me.
Shal.
Slen.
Shal.
1218We haue linger'd about a match betweene An [l. 1219] Page, and my cozen Slender, and this day wee shall haue [l. 1220] our answer.
Slen.
Pag.
Cai.
a‑Quickly
tell me so mush.
Host.
1225What say you to yong Mr Fenton? He capers, [l. 1226] he dances, he has eies of youth: he writes verses, hee [l. 1227] speakes holliday, he smels April and May, he wil carry't, [l. 1228] he will carry't, 'tis in his buttons, he will carry't.
Page.
1229Not by my consent I promise you. The Gentle [l. 1230] man is of no hauing, hee kept companie with the wilde [l. 1231] Prince, and Pointz: he is of too high a Region, he knows [l. 1232] too much: no, hee shall not knit a knot in his fortunes, [l. 1233] with the finger of my substance: if he take her, let him [l. 1234] take her simply: the wealth I haue waits on my consent, [l. 1235] and my consent goes not that way.
Ford.
1236I beseech you heartily, some of you goe home [l. 1237] with me to dinner: besides your cheere you shall haue [l. 1238] sport, I will shew you a monster: Mr Doctor, you shal [l. 1239] go, so shall you Mr Page, and you Sir Hugh.
Shal.
Cai.
Host.
Falstaffe, and drinke Canarie with him.
Ford.
1244I thinke I shall drinke in Pipe‑wine first with [l. 1245] him, Ile make him dance. Will you go Gentles?
All.
1246Haue with you, to see this Monster.
Scena Tertia.
[Act 3, Scene 3]
Ford, Page, Caius, Euans.
Mist.Ford.
M.Page.
Mis.Ford.
Mis.Page.
Mist.Ford.
M.Pag.
M.Ford.
1253Marrie, as I told you before (Iohn & Robert) [l. 1254] be ready here hard‑by in the Brew‑house, & when I so [l. 1255] dainly call you, come forth, and (without any pause, or [l. 1256] staggering) take this basket on your shoulders: yt done, [l. 1257] trudge with it in all hast, and carry it among the Whit [l. 1258] sters in Dotchet Mead, and there empty it in the muddie [l. 1259] ditch, close by the Thames side.
M.Page.
M.Ford.
(direction.
![[p. 58]](FFimg:axc0070-0.jpg){kind=link}
M.Page.
Mist.Ford.
(with you?
Rob.
M.Page.
Rob.
being heere: and hath threatned to put me into euerla
sting liberty, if I tell you of it: for he sweares he'll turne
me away.
Mist.Pag.
1269Thou'rt a good boy: this secrecy of thine [l. 1270] shall be a Tailor to thee, and shal make thee a new dou [l. 1271] blet and hose. Ile go hide me.
Mi.Ford.
stris Page, remember you your Qu.
Mist.Pag.
Mist.Ford.
1274Go‑too then: we'l vse this vnwholsome [l. 1275] humidity, this grosse‑watry Pumpion; we'll teach him [l. 1276] to know Turtles from Iayes.
Fal.
1277Haue I caught thee, my heauenly Iewell? Why [l. 1278] now let me die, for I haue liu'd long enough: This is the [l. 1279] period of my ambition: O this blessed houre.
Mist.Ford.
Fal.
Ford) now shall I sin in my wish; I would thy Husband
were dead, Ile speake it before the best Lord, I would
make thee my Lady.
Mist.Ford.
pittifull Lady.
Fal.
I see how thine eye would emulate the Diamond: Thou
hast the right arched‑beauty of the brow, that becomes
the Ship‑tyre, the Tyre‑valiant, or any Tire of Venetian
admittance.
Mist.Ford.
Fal.
1286Thou art a tyrant to say so: thou wouldst make [l. 1287] an absolute Courtier, and the firme fixture of thy foote, [l. 1288] would giue an excellent motion to thy gate, in a semi‑ [l. 1289] circled Farthingale. I see what thou wert if Fortune thy [l. 1290] foe, were not Nature thy friend: Come, thou canst not [l. 1291] hide it.
Mist.Ford.
Fal.
1293What made me loue thee? Let that perswade [l. 1294] thee. Ther's something extraordinary in thee: Come, I [l. 1295] cannot cog, and say thou art this and that, like a‑manie [l. 1296] of these lisping‑hauthorne buds, that come like women [l. 1297] in mens apparrell, and smell like Bucklers‑berry in sim [l. 1298] ple time: I cannot, but I loue thee, none but thee; and [l. 1299] thou deseru'st it.
M.Ford.
Fal.
Counter‑gate, which is as hatefull to me, as the reeke of
a Lime‑kill.
Mis.Ford.
Fal.
Mist.Ford.
Rob.
1307Mistris Ford, Mistris Ford: heere's Mistris Page at [l. 1308] the doore, sweating, and blowing, and looking wildely, [l. 1309] and would needs speake with you presently.
Fal.
the Arras.
M.Ford.
Mist.Page.
M.Ford.
M.Page.
to your husband, to giue him such cause of suspition.
M.Ford.
M.Page.
M.Ford.
M.Page.
1321Your husband's comming hether (Woman) [l. 1322] with all the Officers in Windsor, to search for a Gentle [l. 1323] man, that he sayes is heere now in the house; by your [l. 1324] consent to take an ill aduantage of his absence: you are [l. 1325] vndone.
M.Ford.
M.Page.
1327Pray heauen it be not so, that you haue such [l. 1328] a man heere: but 'tis most certaine your husband's com [l. 1329] ming, with halfe Windsor at his heeles, to serch for such [l. 1330] a one, I come before to tell you: If you know your selfe [l. 1331] cleere, why I am glad of it: but if you haue a friend here, [l. 1332] conuey, conuey him out. Be not amaz'd, call all your [l. 1333] senses to you, defend your reputation, or bid farwell to [l. 1334] your good life for euer.
M.Ford.
1335What shall I do? There is a Gentleman my [l. 1336] deere friend: and I feare not mine owne shame so much, [l. 1337] as his perill. I had rather then a thousand pound he were [l. 1338] out of the house.
M.Page.
1339For shame, neuer stand (you had rather, and [l. 1340] you had rather:) your husband's heere at hand, bethinke [l. 1341] you of some conueyance: in the house you cannot hide [l. 1342] him. Oh, how haue you deceiu'd me? Looke, heere is a [l. 1343] basket, if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creepe [l. 1344] in heere, and throw fowle linnen vpon him, as if it were [l. 1345] going to bucking: Or it is whiting time, send him by [l. 1346] your two men to Datchet‑Meade.
M.Ford.
Fal.
M.Page.
ters, Knight?
Fal.
heere: ile neuer⸺
M.Page.
your men (Mist. Ford.) You dissembling Knight.
M.Ford.
1353What Iohn, Robert, Iohn; Go, take vp these [l. 1354] cloathes heere, quickly: Wher's the Cowle‑staffe? Look [l. 1355] how you drumble? Carry them to the Landresse in Dat [l. 1356] chet mead: quickly, come.
Ford.
Ser.
M.Ford.
1361Why, what haue you to doe whether they [l. 1362] beare it? You were best meddle with buck‑washing.
Ford.
1366Gentlemen, I haue dream'd to night, Ile tell you my [l. 1367] dreame: heere, heere, heere bee my keyes, ascend my [l. 1368] Chambers, search, seeke, finde out: Ile warrant wee'le [l. 1369] vnkennell the Fox. Let me stop this way first: so, now [l. 1370] vncape.
Page.
Ford.
![[p. 51]](FFimg:axc0071-0.jpg){kind=link}
Euans.
Caius.
Page.
his search.
Mist.Page
Mist.Ford.
Mist.Page.
husband askt who was in the basket?
Mist.Ford.
1384I am halfe affraid he will haue neede of [l. 1385] washing: so throwing him into the water, will doe him [l. 1386] a benefit.
Mist.Page.
1387Hang him dishonest rascall: I would all [l. 1388] of the same straine, were in the same distresse.
Mist.Ford.
1389I thinke my husband hath some speciall [l. 1390] suspition of Falstaffs being heere: for I neuer saw him so [l. 1391] grosse in his iealousie till now.
Mist.Page.
1392I will lay a plot to try that, and wee will [l. 1393] yet haue more trickes with Falstaffe: his dissolute disease [l. 1394] will scarse obey this medicine.
Mis.Ford.
1395Shall we send that foolishion Carion, Mist. [l. 1396] Quickly to him, and excuse his throwing into the water, [l. 1397] and giue him another hope, to betray him to another [l. 1398] punishment?
Mist.Page.
1399We will do it: let him be sent for to mor [l. 1400] row eight a clocke to haue amends.
Ford.
1401I cannot finde him: may be the knaue bragg'd [l. 1402] of that he could not compasse.
Mis.Page.
Mis.Ford.
Ford.
M.Ford.
Ford.
Mi.Page.
Ford.
Eu.
1410If there be any pody in the house, & in the cham [l. 1411] bers, and in the coffers, and in the presses: heauen for [l. 1412] giue my sins at the day of iudgement.
Caius.
Page.
1414Fy, fy, M. Ford, are you not asham'd? What spi [l. 1415] rit, what diuell suggests this imagination? I wold not ha [l. 1416] your distemper in this kind, for yͤ welth of Windsor castle.
Ford.
Euans.
1418You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is [l. 1419] as honest a o'mans, as I will desires among fiue thou [l. 1420] sand, and fiue hundred too.
Cai.
Ford.
1422Well, I promisd you a dinner: come, come, walk [l. 1423] in the Parke, I pray you pardon me: I wil hereafter make [l. 1424] knowne to you why I haue done this. Come wife, come [l. 1425] Mi. Page, I pray you pardon me. Pray hartly pardon me.
Page.
1426Let's go in Gentlemen, but (trust me) we'l mock [l. 1427] him: I doe inuite you to morrow morning to my house [l. 1428] to breakfast: after we'll a Birding together, I haue a fine [l. 1429] Hawke for the bush. Shall it be so:
Ford.
Eu.
Ca.
Ford.
Eua.
lowsie knaue, mine Host.
Cai.
Eua.
keries.
Scœna Quarta.
[Act 3, Scene 4]
Quickly, Page, Mist.Page.
Fen.
Anne.
1439Alas, how then?
Fen.
An.
An.
Shal.
Slen.
(ring.
Shal.
Slen.
Qui.
An.
Qui.
Shal.
Slen.
iests of him: pray you Vncle, tel Mist. Anne the iest how
my Father stole two Geese out of a Pen, good Vnckle.
Shal.
Slen.
cestershire.
Shal.
Slen.
degree of a Squire.
Shal.
ioynture.
Anne.
selfe.
Shal.
1481Marrie I thanke you for it: I thanke you for [l. 1482] that good comfort: she cals you (Coz) Ile leaue you.
Anne.
Slen.
Anne.
Slen.
iest indeede: I ne're made my Will yet (I thanke Hea
uen:) I am not such a sickely creature, I giue Heauen
praise.
![[p. 52]](FFimg:axc0072-0.jpg){kind=link}
Anne.
Slen.
1488Truely, for mine owne part, I would little or [l. 1489] nothing with you: your father and my vncle hath made [l. 1490] motions: if it be my lucke, so; if not, happy man bee his [l. 1491] dole, they can tell you how things go, better then I can: [l. 1492] you may aske your father, heere he comes.
Page.
Fen.
Mist.Page.
Page.
Fen.
Page.
Qui.
Fen.
An.
Mist.Page.
band.
Qui.
An.
Mist.Page.
Fen.
Qui.
cast away your childe on a Foole, and a Physitian:
Fen.
Qui.
1526Now heauen send thee good fortune, a kinde [l. 1527] heart he hath: a woman would run through fire & wa [l. 1528] ter for such a kinde heart. But yet, I would my Maister [l. 1529] had Mistris Anne, or I would M. Slender had her: or (in [l. 1530] sooth) I would M. Fenton had her; I will do what I can [l. 1531] for them all three, for so I haue promisd, and Ile bee as [l. 1532] good as my word, but speciously for M. Fenton. Well, I [l. 1533] must of another errand to Sir Iohn Falstaffe from my two [l. 1534] Mistresses: what a beast am I to slacke it.
Scena Quinta.
[Act 3, Scene 5]
Fal.
Bar.
Fal.
1537Go, fetch me a quart of Sacke, put a tost in't. [l. 1538] Haue I liu'd to be carried in a Basket like a barrow of [l. 1539] butchers Offall? and to be throwne in the Thames? Wel, [l. 1540] if I be seru'd such another tricke, Ile haue my braines [l. 1541] 'tane out and butter'd, and giue them to a dogge for a [l. 1542] New‑yeares gift. The rogues slighted me into the riuer [l. 1543] with as little remorse, as they would haue drown'de a [l. 1544] blinde bitches Puppies, fifteene i'th litter: and you may [l. 1545] know by my size, that I haue a kinde of alacrity in sink [l. 1546] ing: if the bottome were as deepe as hell, I shold down. [l. 1547] I had beene drown'd, but that the shore was sheluy and [l. 1548] shallow: a death that I abhorre: for the water swelles a [l. 1549] man; and what a thing should I haue beene, when I [l. 1550] had beene swel'd? I should haue beene a Mountaine of [l. 1551] Mummie.
Bar.
Fal.
1553Come, let me poure in some Sack to the Thames [l. 1554] water: for my bellies as cold as if I had swallow'd snow [l. 1555] bals, for pilles to coole the reines. Call her in.
Bar.
Qui.
Fal.
Bard.
Fal.
1562Simple of it selfe: Ile no PulletߛSpersme in my [l. 1563] brewage. How now?
Qui.
Fal.
into the Ford; I haue my belly full of Ford.
Qui.
1566Alas the day, (good‑heart) that was not her [l. 1567] fault: she do's so take on with her men; they mistooke [l. 1568] their erection.
Fal.
(promise.
Qui.
1570Well, she laments Sir for it, that it would yern [l. 1571] your heart to see it: her husband goes this morning a [l. 1572] birding; she desires you once more to come to her, be [l. 1573] tweene eight and nine: I must carry her word quickely, [l. 1574] she'll make you amends I warrant you.
Fal.
1575Well, I will visit her, tell her so: and bidde her [l. 1576] thinke what a man is: Let her consider his frailety, and [l. 1577] then iudge of my merit.
Qui.
Fal.
Qui.
Fal.
Qui.
Fal.
word to stay within: I like his money well.
Ford.
Fal.
Ford.
Fal.
Ford.
Fal.
Ford.
Fal.
1594No (M. Broome) but the peaking Curnuto her hus [l. 1595] band (M. Broome) dwelling in a continual larum of ielou [l. 1596] sie, coms me in the instant of our encounter, after we had [l. 1597] embrast, kist, protested, & (as it were) spoke the prologue [l. 1598] of our Comedy: and at his heeles, a rabble of his compa [l. 1599] nions, thither prouoked and instigated by his distemper, [l. 1600] and (forsooth) to serch his house for his wiues Loue.
Ford.
Fal.
For.
Fal.
1604You shall heare. As good lucke would haue it, [l. 1605] comes in one Mist. Page, giues intelligence of Fords ap [l. 1606] proch: and in her inuention, and Fords wiues distraction, [l. 1607] they conuey'd me into a bucke‑basket.
![[p. 53]](FFimg:axc0073-0.jpg){kind=link}
Ford.
Fal.
1609Yes: a Buck‑basket: ram'd mee in with foule [l. 1610] Shirts and Smockes, Socks, foule Stockings, greasie [l. 1611] Napkins, that (Master Broome) there was the rankest [l. 1612] compound of villanous smell, that euer offended no [l. 1613] strill.
Ford.
Fal.
1615Nay, you shall heare (Master Broome) what I [l. 1616] hau[.] sufferd, to bring this woman to euill, for your [l. 1617] good: Being thus cram'd in the Basket, a couple of [l. 1618] Fords knaues, his Hindes, were cald forth by their Mi [l. 1619] stris, to carry mee in the name of foule Cloathes to [l. 1620] Datchet‑lane: they tooke me on their shoulders: met [l. 1621] the iealous knaue their Master in the doore; who [l. 1622] ask'd them once or twice what they had in their Bas [l. 1623] ket? I quak'd for feare least the Lunatique Knaue [l. 1624] would haue search'd it: but Fate (ordaining he should [l. 1625] be a Cuckold) held his hand: well, on went hee, for [l. 1626] a search, and away went I for foule Cloathes: But [l. 1627] marke the sequell (Master Broome) I suffered the pangs [l. 1628] of three seuerall deaths: First, an intollerable fright, [l. 1629] to be detected with a iealious rotten Bell‑weather: [l. 1630] Next to be compass'd like a good Bilbo in the circum [l. 1631] ference of a Pecke, hilt to point, heele to head. And [l. 1632] then to be stopt in like a strong distillation with stink [l. 1633] ing Cloathes, that fretted in their owne grease: [l. 1634] thinke of that, a man of my Kidney; thinke of that, [l. 1635] that am as subiect to heate as butter; a man of conti [l. 1636] nuall dissolution, and thaw: it was a miracle to scape [l. 1637] suffocation. And in the height of this Bath (when I [l. 1638] was more then halfe stew'd in grease (like a Dutch‑ [l. 1639] dish) to be throwne into the Thames, and [l. 1640] coold, glowing‑hot, in that serge like a Horse [l. 1641] shoo; thinke of that; hissing hot: thinke of that (Master [l. 1642] Broome.)
Ford.
you haue sufferd all this.
more?
Fal.
1645Master Broome: I will be throwne into Etna, [l. 1646] as I haue beene into Thames, ere I will leaue her thus; [l. 1647] her Husband is this morning gone a Birding: I [l. 1648] haue receiued from her another ambassie of mee [l. 1649] ting: 'twixt eight and nine is the houre (Master [l. 1650] Broome.)
Ford.
Fal.
1652Is it? I will then addresse mee to my appoint [l. 1653] ment: Come to mee at your conuenient leisure, and [l. 1654] you shall know how I speede: and the conclusion [l. 1655] shall be crowned with your enioying her: adiew: you [l. 1656] shall haue her (Master Broome) Master Broome, you shall [l. 1657] cuckold Ford.
Ford.
1658Hum: ha? Is this a vision? Is this a dreame? [l. 1659] doe I sleepe? Master Ford awake, awake Master Ford: [l. 1660] ther's a hole made in your best coate (Master Ford:) this [l. 1661] 'tis to be married; this 'tis to haue Lynnen, and Buck‑ [l. 1662] baskets: Well, I will proclaime my selfe what I am: [l. 1663] I will now take the Leacher: hee is at my house: hee [l. 1664] cannot scape me: 'tis impossible hee should: hee can [l. 1665] not creepe into a halfe‑penny purse, nor into a Pepper‑ [l. 1666] Boxe: But least the Diuell that guides him, should [l. 1667] aide him, I will search impossible places: though [l. 1668] what I am, I cannot auoide; yet to be what I would [l. 1669] not, shall not make me tame: If I haue hornes, to make [l. 1670] one mad, let the prouerbe goe with me, Ile be horneߛ [l. 1671] mad.
Actus Quartus. Scœna Prima.
[Act 4, Scene 1]
Mist.Pag.
Qui.
1673Sure he is by this; or will be presently; but [l. 1674] truely he is very couragious mad, about his throwing [l. 1675] into the water. Mistris Ford desires you to come so [l. 1676] dainely.
Mist.Pag.
1677Ile be with her by and by: Ile but bring [l. 1678] my yong‑man here to Schoole: looke where his Master [l. 1679] comes; 'tis a playing day I see: how now Sir Hugh, no [l. 1680] Schoole to day?
Eua.
Qui.
1682'Blessing of his heart.
Mist.Pag.
1683Sir Hugh, my husband saies my sonne pro [l. 1684] fits nothing in the world at his Booke: I pray you aske [l. 1685] him some questions in his Accidence.
Eu.
Mist.Pag.
1687Come‑on Sirha; hold vp your head; an [l. 1688] swere your Master, be not afraid.
Eua.
Will.
Qui.
1691Truely, I thought there had bin one Number [l. 1692] more, because they say od's‑Nownes.
Eua.
Will.
Qu.
sure.
Eua.
1696You are a very simplicity o'man: I pray you [l. 1697] peace. What is (Lapis) William?
Will.
Eua.
Will.
Eua.
praine.
Will.
Eua.
do's lend Articles.
Will.
1704Articles are borrowed of the Pronoune; and be [l. 1705] thus declined. Singulariter nominatiuo hic, hæc, hoc.
Eua.
tiuo huius: Well: what is your Accusatiue‑case?
Will.
Eua.
cusatiuo hing, hang, hog.
Qu.
Eua.
1710Leaue your prables (o'man) What is the Foca [l. 1711] tiue case (William?)
Will.
Eua.
Qu.
Eua.
Mist.Pag.
Eua.
Will.
Eua.
Will.
Qu.
name her (childe) if she be a whore.
Eua.
Qu.
1723You doe ill to teach the childe such words: hee [l. 1724] teaches him to hic, and to hac; which they'll doe fast [l. 1725] enough of themselues, and to call horum; fie vpon you.
![[p. 54]](FFimg:axc0074-0.jpg){kind=link}
Euans.
1726O'man, art thou Lunaties? Hast thou no vn [l. 1727] derstandings for thy Cases, & the numbers of the Gen [l. 1728] ders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures, as I would [l. 1729] desires.
Mi.Page.
Eu.
Pronounes.
Will.
Eu.
1733It is Qui, que, quod; if you forget your Quies, [l. 1734] your Ques, and your Quods, you must be preeches: Goe [l. 1735] your waies and play, go.
M.Pag.
Eu.
Mis.Page.
Scena Secunda.
[Act 4, Scene 2]
Page, Caius, Euans, Shallow.
Fal.
1740Mi. Ford, Your sorrow hath eaten vp my suffe [l. 1741] rance; I see you are obsequious in your loue, and I pro [l. 1742] fesse requitall to a haires bredth, not onely Mist. Ford, [l. 1743] in the simple office of loue, but in all the accustrement, [l. 1744] complement, and ceremony of it: But are you sure of [l. 1745] your husband now?
Mis.Ford.
Mis.Page.
Mis.Ford.
Mis.Page.
besides your selfe?
Mis.Ford.
Mis.Page.
Mis.Ford.
Mist.Pag.
Mist.Ford.
Mis.Page.
1755Why woman, your husband is in his olde [l. 1756] lines againe: he so takes on yonder with my husband, so [l. 1757] railes against all married mankinde; so curses all Eues [l. 1758] daughters, of what complexion soeuer; and so buffettes [l. 1759] himselfe on the for‑head: crying peere‑out, peere‑out, [l. 1760] that any madnesse I euer yet beheld, seem'd but tame [l. 1761] nesse, ciuility, and patience to this his distemper he is in [l. 1762] now: I am glad the fat Knight is not heere.
Mist.Ford.
Mist.Page.
1764Of none but him, and sweares he was ca [l. 1765] rried out the last time hee search'd for him, in a Basket: [l. 1766] Protests to my husband he is now heere, & hath drawne [l. 1767] him and the rest of their company from their sport, to [l. 1768] make another experiment of his suspition: But I am glad [l. 1769] the Knight is not heere; now he shall see his owne foo⸗ [l. 1770] lerie.
Mist.Ford.
Mist.Pag.
Mist.Ford.
Mist.Page.
1774Why then you are vtterly sham'd, & hee's [l. 1775] but a dead man. What a woman are you? Away with [l. 1776] him, away with him: Better shame, then murther.
Mist.Ford.
bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket againe?
Fal.
Mist.Page.
1780Alas: three of Mr. Fords brothers watch [l. 1781] the doore with Pistols, that none shall issue out: other [l. 1782] wise you might slip away ere hee came: But what make [l. 1783] you heere?
Fal.
Mist.Ford.
Birding‑peeces: creepe into the Kill‑hole.
Fal.
Mist.Ford.
1787He will seeke there on my word: Neyther [l. 1788] Presse, Coffer, Chest, Trunke, Well, Vault, but he hath [l. 1789] an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes [l. 1790] to them by his Note: There is no hiding you in the [l. 1791] house.
Fal.
Mist.Ford.
1793If you goe out in your owne semblance, [l. 1794] you die Sir Iohn, vnlesse you go out disguis'd.
Mist.Ford.
Mist.Page.
1796Alas the day I know not, there is no wo [l. 1797] mans gowne bigge enough for him: otherwise he might [l. 1798] put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchiefe, and so escape.
Fal.
1799Good hearts, deuise something: any extremitie, [l. 1800] rather then a mischiefe.
Mist.Ford.
1801My Maids Aunt the fat woman of Brain [l. 1802] ford, has a gowne aboue.
Mist.Page.
1803On my word it will serue him: shee's as [l. 1804] big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler [l. 1805] too: run vp Sir Iohn.
Mist.Ford.
I will looke some linnen for your head.
Mist.Page.
straight: put on the gowne the while.
Mist.Ford.
1808I would my husband would meete him [l. 1809] in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brain [l. 1810] ford; he sweares she's a witch, forbad her my house, and [l. 1811] hath threatned to beate her.
Mist.Page.
1812Heauen guide him to thy husbands cud [l. 1813] gell: and the diuell guide his cudgell afterwards.
Mist.Ford.
Mist.Page.
basket too, howsoeuer he hath had intelligence.
Mist.Ford.
1816Wee'l try that: for Ile appoint my men to [l. 1817] carry the basket againe, to meete him at the doore with [l. 1818] it, as they did last time.
Mist.Page.
1819Nay, but hee'l be heere presently: let's go [l. 1820] dresse him like the witch of Brainford.
Mist.Ford.
1821Ile first direct direct my men, what they [l. 1822] shall doe with the basket: Goe vp, Ile bring linnen for [l. 1823] him straight.
Mist.Page.
Mist.Ford.
1830Go Sirs, take the basket againe on your [l. 1831] shoulders: your Master is hard at doore: if hee bid you [l. 1832] set it downe, obey him: quickly, dispatch.
1 Ser.
2 Ser.
1 Ser.
Ford.
way then to vnfoole me againe. Set downe the basket
villaine: some body call my wife: Youth in a basket:
a conspiracie against me: Now shall the diuel be sham'd.
![[p. 55]](FFimg:axc0075-0.jpg){kind=link}
nest cloathes you send forth to bleaching.
Page.
loose any longer, you must be pinnion'd.
Euans.
mad dogge.
Shall.
Ford.
1842So say I too Sir, come hither Mistris Ford, Mi [l. 1843] stris Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the vertu [l. 1844] ous creature, that hath the iealious foole to her husband: [l. 1845] I suspect without cause (Mistris) do I?
Mist.Ford.
1846Heauen be my witnesse you doe, if you [l. 1847] suspect me in any dishonesty.
Ford.
1848Well said Brazon‑face, hold it out: Come forth [l. 1849] sirrah.
Page.
Mist.Ford.
Ford.
Eua.
cloathes? Come, away.
Ford.
M.Ford.
Ford.
1856Master Page, as I am a man, there was one con [l. 1857] uay'd out of my house yesterday in this basket: why [l. 1858] may not he be there againe, in my house I am sure he is: [l. 1859] my Intelligence is true, my iealousie is reasonable, pluck [l. 1860] me out all the linnen.
Mist.Ford.
death.
Page.
Shal.
wrongs you.
Euans.
imaginations of your owne heart: this is iealousies.
Ford.
Page.
Ford.
1867Helpe to search my house this one time: if I find [l. 1868] not what I seeke, shew no colour for my extremity: Let [l. 1869] me for euer be your Tableߛsport: Let them say of me, as [l. 1870] iealous as Ford, that search'd a hollow Wall‑nut for his [l. 1871] wiues Lemman. Satisfie me once more, once more serch [l. 1872] with me.
M.Ford.
1873What hoa (Mistris Page,) come you and [l. 1874] the old woman downe: my husband will come into the [l. 1875] Chamber.
Ford.
M.Ford.
Ford.
1878A witch, a Queane, an olde couzening queane: [l. 1879] Haue I not forbid her my house. She comes of errands [l. 1880] do's she? We are simple men, wee doe not know what's [l. 1881] brought to passe vnder the profession of Fortune‑telling. [l. 1882] She workes by Charmes, by Spels, by th'Figure, & such [l. 1883] dawbry as this is, beyond our Element: wee know no [l. 1884] thing. Come downe you Witch, you Hagge you, come [l. 1885] downe I say.
Mist.Ford.
men, let him strike the old woman.
Mist.Page.
hand.
Ford.
1888Ile Prat‑her: Out of my doore, you Witch, [l. 1889] you Ragge, you Baggage, you Poulcat, you Runnion, [l. 1890] out, out: Ile coniure you, Ile fortune‑tell you.
Mist.Page.
Mist.Ford.
for you.
Ford.
Eua.
1895By yea, and no, I thinke the o'man is a witch in [l. 1896] deede: I like not when a o'man has a great peard; I spie [l. 1897] a great peard vnder his muffler.
Ford.
1898Will you follow Gentlemen, I beseech you fol [l. 1899] low: see but the issue of my iealousie: If I cry out thus [l. 1900] vpon no traile, neuer trust me when I open againe.
Page.
Mist.Page.
Mist.Ford.
him most vnpittifully, me thought.
Mist.Page.
ore the Altar, it hath done meritorious seruice.
Mist.Ford.
1906What thinke you? May we with the war [l. 1907] rant of woman‑hood, and the witnesse of a good consci [l. 1908] ence, pursue him with any further reuenge?
M.Page.
1909The spirit of wantonnesse is sure scar'd out [l. 1910] of him, if the diuell haue him not in fee‑simple, with [l. 1911] fine and recouery, he will neuer (I thinke) in the way of [l. 1912] waste, attempt vs againe.
Mist.Ford.
1913Shall we tell our husbands how wee haue [l. 1914] seru'd him?
Mist.Page.
1915Yes, by all meanes: if it be but to scrape [l. 1916] the figures out of your husbands braines: if they can find [l. 1917] in their hearts, the poore vnuertuous fat Knight shall be [l. 1918] any further afflicted, wee two will still bee the mini [l. 1919] sters.
Mist.Ford.
1920Ile warrant, they'l haue him publiquely [l. 1921] sham'd, and me thinkes there would be no period to the [l. 1922] iest, should he not be publikely sham'd.
Mist.Page.
I would not haue things coole.
Scena Tertia.
[Act 4, Scene 3]
Bar.
1924Sir, the Germane desires to haue three of your [l. 1925] horses: the Duke himselfe will be to morrow at Court, [l. 1926] and they are going to meet him.
Host.
1927What Duke should that be comes so secretly? [l. 1928] I heare not of him in the Court: let mee speake with the [l. 1929] Gentlemen, they speake English?
Bar.
Host.
1931They shall haue my horses, but Ile make them [l. 1932] pay: Ile sauce them, they haue had my houses a week at [l. 1933] commaund: I haue turn'd away my other guests, they [l. 1934] must come off, Ile sawce them, come.
Scena Quarta.
[Act 3, Scene 4]
Ford, and Euans.
Eua.
uer I did looke vpon.
Page.
instant?
Mist.Page.
Ford.
![[p. 56]](FFimg:axc0076-0.jpg){kind=link}
Page.
Ford.
Page.
the Parke at midnight? Fie, fie, he'll neuer come.
Eu.
1951You say he has bin throwne in the Riuers: and [l. 1952] has bin greeuously peaten, as an old o'man: me‑thinkes [l. 1953] there should be terrors in him, that he should not come: [l. 1954] Me‑thinkes his flesh is punish'd, hee shall haue no de [l. 1955] sires
Page.
M.Ford.
Mis.Page.
Page.
Mist.Ford.
Page.
Mist.Pa.
Ford.
Mist.Page.
Ford.
Eua.
will be like a Iackeߛan‑Apes also, to burne the Knight
with my Taber.
Ford.
Mist.Page.
Fairies, finely attired in a robe of white.
Page.
Ford.
Mist.Page.
Euans.
Mis.Page.
Scena Quinta.
[Act 4, Scene 5]
Caius, Quickly.
Host.
2023What wouldst thou haue? (Boore) what? (thick [l. 2024] skin) speake, breathe, discusse: breefe, short, quicke, [l. 2025] snap.
Simp.
2026Marry Sir, I come to speake with Sir Iohn Fal [l. 2027] staffe from M. Slender.
Host.
2028There's his Chamber, his House, his Castle, [l. 2029] his standing‑bed and truckle‑bed: 'tis painted about [l. 2030] with the story of the Prodigall, fresh and new: go, knock [l. 2031] and call: hee'l speake like an Anthropophaginian vnto [l. 2032] thee: Knocke I say.
Simp.
2033There's an olde woman, a fat woman gone vp [l. 2034] into his chamber: Ile be so bold as stay Sir till she come [l. 2035] downe: I come to speake with her indeed.
Host.
2036Ha? A fat woman? The Knight may be robb'd: [l. 2037] Ile call. BullyߛKnight, Bully Sir Iohn: speake from thy [l. 2038] Lungs Military: Art thou there? It is thine Host, thine [l. 2039] Ephesian cals.
Fal.
Host.
2041Here's a Bohemian‑Tartar taries the comming [l. 2042] downe of thy fat‑woman: Let her descend (Bully) let [l. 2043] her descend: my Chambers are honourable: Fie, priu [l. 2044] acy? Fie.
Fal.
2045There was (mine Host) an old‑fat‑woman euen [l. 2046] now with me, but she's gone.
Simp.
Brainford?
Fal.
2048I marry was it (Mussel‑shell) what would you [l. 2049] with her?
Simp.
2050My Master (Sir) my master Slender, sent to her [l. 2051] seeing her go thorough the streets, to know (Sir) whe [l. 2052] ther one Nim (Sir) that beguil'd him of a chaine, had the [l. 2053] chaine, or no.
Fal.
Sim.
Fal.
beguil'd Master Slender of his Chaine, cozon'd him of it.
Simp.
2057I would I could haue spoken with the Woman her [p. 57] The Merry Wiues of Windsor. [l. 2058] her selfe, I had other things to haue spoken with her [l. 2059] too, from him.
![[p. 57]](FFimg:axc0077-0.jpg){kind=link}
Fal.
Host.
Fal.
Host.
Sim.
Anne Page, to know if it were my Masters fortune to
haue her, or no.
Fal.
Sim.
Fal.
me so.
Sim.
Fal.
Sim.
2070I thanke your worship: I shall make my Master [l. 2071] glad with these tydings.
Host.
2072Thou art clearkly: thou art clearkly (Sir Iohn) [l. 2073] was there a wise woman with thee?
Fal.
2074I that there was (mine Host) one that hath taught [l. 2075] me more wit, then euer I learn'd before in my life: and [l. 2076] I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my lear [l. 2077] ning.
Bar.
Host.
letto.
Bar.
2080Run away with the cozoners: for so soone as [l. 2081] I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off, from behinde [l. 2082] one of them, in a slough of myre; and set spurres, and [l. 2083] away; like three Germane‑diuels; three Doctor Fau [l. 2084] staffes.
Host.
2085They are gone but to meete the Duke (villaine) [l. 2086] doe not say they be fled: Germanes are honest men.
Euan.
Host.
Euan.
2089Haue a care of your entertainments: there is a [l. 2090] friend of mine come to Towne, tels mee there is three [l. 2091] Cozen‑Iermans, that has cozend all the Hosts of Reading, [l. 2092] of Maidenhead; of Cole‑brooke, of horses and money: I [l. 2093] tell you for good will (looke you) you are wise, and full [l. 2094] of gibes, and vlouting‑stocks: and 'tis not conuenient [l. 2095] you should be cozoned. Fare you well.
Cai.
Host.
2097Here (Master Doctor) in perplexitie, and doubt [l. 2098] full delemma.
Cai.
2099I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell‑a‑me, dat [l. 2100] you make grand preparation for a Duke de Iamanie: by [l. 2101] my trot: der is no Duke that the Court is know, to [l. 2102] come: I tell you for good will: adieu.
Host.
2103Huy and cry, (villaine) goe: assist me Knight, I [l. 2104] am vndone: fly, run: huy, and cry (villaine) I am vn [l. 2105] done.
Fal.
2106I would all the world might be cozond, for I [l. 2107] haue beene cozond and beaten too: if it should come [l. 2108] to the eare of the Court, how I haue beene transformed; [l. 2109] and how my transformation hath beene washd, and [l. 2110] cudgeld, they would melt mee out of my fat drop by [l. 2111] drop, and liquor Fishermens‑boots with me: I warrant [l. 2112] they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as [l. 2113] crest‑falne as a dride‑peare: I neuer prosper'd, since I [l. 2114] forswore my selfe at Primero: well, if my winde were [l. 2115] but long enough; I would repent: Now? Whence come [l. 2116] you?
Qui.
Fal.
2118The Diuell take one partie, and his Dam the [l. 2119] other: and so they shall be both bestowed; I haue suf [l. 2120] fer'd more for their sakes; more then the villanous in [l. 2121] constancy of mans disposition is able to beare.
Qui.
2122And haue not they suffer'd? Yes, I warrant; spe [l. 2123] ciously one of them; Mistris Ford (good heart) is beaten [l. 2124] blacke and blew, that you cannot see a white spot about [l. 2125] her.
Fal.
2126What tell'st thou mee of blacke, and blew? I [l. 2127] was beaten my selfe into all the colours of the Raine [l. 2128] bow: and I was like to be apprehended for the Witch [l. 2129] of Braineford, but that my admirable dexteritie of wit, [l. 2130] my counterfeiting the action of an old woman deliuer'd [l. 2131] me, the knaue Constable had set me ith'Stocks, ith'com [l. 2132] mon Stocks, for a Witch.
Qu.
2133Sir: let me speake with you in your Chamber, [l. 2134] you shall heare how things goe, and (I warrant) to your [l. 2135] content: here is a Letter will say somewhat: (good‑ [l. 2136] hearts) what a‑doe here is to bring you together? Sure, [l. 2137] one of you do's not serue heauen well, that you are so [l. 2138] cross'd.
Fal.
Scena Sexta.
[Act 4, Scene 6]
Host.
2140Master Fenton, talke not to mee, my minde is [l. 2141] heauy: I will giue ouer all.
Fen.
Host.
2145I will heare you (Master Fenton) and I will (at [l. 2146] the least) keepe your counsell.
Fen.
![[p. 58]](FFimg:axc0078-0.jpg){kind=link}
Host.
ther.
Fen.
Host.
Fen.
Actus Quintus. Scœna Prima.
[Act 5, Scene 1]
Fal.
the third time: I hope good lucke lies in odde numbers:
either in natiuity, chance, or death: away.
Qui.
2196Ile prouide you a chaine, and Ile do what I can [l. 2197] to get you a paire of hornes.
Fall.
2198Away I say, time weares, hold vp your head & [l. 2199] mince. How now M Broome? Master Broome, the mat [l. 2200] ter will be knowne to night, or neuer. Bee you in the [l. 2201] Parke about midnight, at Hernes‑Oake, and you shall [l. 2202] see wonders.
Ford.
2203Went you not to her yesterday (Sir) as you told [l. 2204] me you had appointed?
Fal.
2205I went to her (Master Broome) as you see, like a [l. 2206] poore‑old‑man, but I came from her (Master Broome) [l. 2207] like a poore‑old‑woman; that same knaue (Ford hir hus [l. 2208] band) hath the finest mad diuell of iealousie in him (Ma [l. 2209] ster Broome) that euer gouern'd Frensie. I will tell you, [l. 2210] he beate me greeuously, in the shape of a woman: (for in [l. 2211] the shape of Man (Master Broome) I feare not Goliah [l. 2212] with a Weauers beame, because I know also, life is a [l. 2213] Shuttle) I am in hast, go along with mee, Ile tell you all [l. 2214] (Master Broome:) since I pluckt Geese, plaide Trewant, [l. 2215] and whipt Top, I knew not what 'twas to be beaten, till [l. 2216] lately. Follow mee, Ile tell you strange things of this [l. 2217] knaue Ford, on whom to night I will be reuenged, and I [l. 2218] will deliuer his wife into your hand. Follow, straunge [l. 2219] things in hand (M. Broome) follow.
Scena Secunda.
[Act 5, Scene 2]
Page.
2220Come, come: wee'll couch i'th Castle‑ditch, [l. 2221] till we see the light of our Fairies. Remember son Slen [l. 2222] der, my
Slen.
2223I forsooth, I haue spoke with her, & we haue [l. 2224] a nay‑word, how to know one another. I come to her [l. 2225] in white, and cry Mum; she cries Budget, and by that [l. 2226] we know one another.
Shal.
2227That's good too: But what needes either your [l. 2228] Mum, or her Budget? The white will decipher her well [l. 2229] enough. It hath strooke ten a'clocke.
Page.
2230The night is darke, Light and Spirits will be [l. 2231] come it wel: Heauen prosper our sport. No man means [l. 2232] euill but the deuill, and we shal know him by his hornes. [l. 2233] Lets away: follow me.
Scena Tertia.
[Act 5, Scene 3]
Mist.Page.
2234Mr Doctor, my daughter is in green, when [l. 2235] you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her [l. 2236] to the Deanerie, and dispatch it quickly: go before into [l. 2237] the Parke: we two must go together.
Cai.
Mist.Page.
2239Fare you well (Sir:) my husband will not [l. 2240] reioyce so much at the abuse of Falstaffe, as he will chafe [l. 2241] at the Doctors marrying my daughter: But 'tis no mat [l. 2242] ter; better a little chiding, then a great deale of heart [l. 2243] breake.
Mist.Ford.
2244Where is Nan now? and her troop of Fai [l. 2245] ries? and the Welch‑deuill Herne?
Mist.Page.
2246They are all couch'd in a pit hard by Hernes [l. 2247] Oake, with obscur'd Lights; which at the very instant [l. 2248] of Falstaffes and our meeting, they will at once display to [l. 2249] the night.
Mist.Ford.
Mist.Page.
he be amaz'd, he will euery way be mock'd.
Mist.Ford.
Mist.Page.
Mist.Ford.
Oake.
Scena Quarta.
[Act 5, Scene 4]
Euans.
2256Trib, trib Fairies: Come, and remember your [l. 2257] parts: be pold (I pray you) follow me into the pit, and [l. 2258] when I giue the watch‑'ords, do as I pid you: Come, [l. 2259] come, trib, trib.
Scena Quinta.
[Act 5, Scene 5]
Anne Page, Fairies, Page, Ford, Quickly,
Slender, Fenton, Caius, Pistoll.
Fal.
2260The Windsor‑bell hath stroke twelue: the Mi [l. 2261] nute drawesߛon: Now the hot‑bloodied‑Gods assist me: [l. 2262] Remember Ioue, thou was't a Bull for thy Europa, Loue [l. 2263] set on thy hornes. O powerfull Loue, that in some re [l. 2264] spects makes a Beast a Man: in som other, a Man a beast. [l. 2265] You were also (Iupiter) a Swan, for the loue of Leda: O omnipotent [p. 51] The Merry Wiues of Windsor. [l. 2266] omnipotent Loue, how nere the God drew to the com [l. 2267] plexion of a Goose: a fault done first in the forme of a [l. 2268] beast, (O Ioue, a beastly fault:) and then another fault, [l. 2269] in the semblance of a Fowle, thinke on't (Ioue) a fowle‑ [l. 2270] fault. When Gods haue hot backes, what shall poore [l. 2271] men do? For me, I am heere a Windsor Stagge, and the [l. 2272] fattest (I thinke) i'th Forrest. Send me a coole rut‑time [l. 2273] (Ioue) or who can blame me to pisse my Tallow? Who [l. 2274] comes heere? my Doe?
![[p. 51]](FFimg:axc0079-0.jpg){kind=link}
M.Ford.
Fal.
2277My Doe, with the blacke Scut? Let the skie [l. 2278] raine Potatoes: let it thunder, to the tune of Greene [l. 2279] sleeues, haile‑kissing Comfits, and snow Eringoes: Let [l. 2280] there come a tempest of prouocation, I will shelter mee [l. 2281] heere.
M.Ford.
2282Mistris Page is come with me (sweet hart.)
Fal.
2283Diuide me like a brib'd‑Bucke, each a Haunch: [l. 2284] I will keepe my sides to my selfe, my shoulders for the [l. 2285] fellow of this walke; and my hornes I bequeath your [l. 2286] husbands. Am I a Woodman, ha? Speake I like Herne [l. 2287] the Hunter? Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience, [l. 2288] he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome.
M.Page.
M.Ford.
Fal.
M.Ford. M.Page.
Fal.
Qui.
Pist.
Fal.
Eu.
Qu.
Euan.
(set:
Fal.
Pist.
birth.
Qu.
Pist.
Eua.
Fal.
Qui.
The Song.
Page.
2360Nay do not flye, I thinke we haue watcht you [l. 2361] now: VVill none but Herne the Hunter serue your [l. 2362] turne?
M.Page.
Ford.
but his Buck‑basket, his cudgell, and twenty pounds of
money, which must be paid to Mr Broome, his horses are
arrested for it, Mr Broome.
M.Ford.
2371Sir Iohn, we haue had ill lucke: wee could [l. 2372] neuer meete: I will neuer take you for my Loue againe, [l. 2373] but I will alwayes count you my Deere.
Fal.
Ford.
tant.
Fal.
2376And these are not Fairies:
2377I was three or foure times in the thought they were not [l. 2378] Fairies, and yet the guiltinesse of my minde, the sodaine [l. 2379] surprize of my powers, droue the grossenesse of the fop [l. 2380] pery into a receiu'd beleefe, in despight of the teeth of [l. 2381] all rime and reason, that they were Fairies. See now [l. 2382] how wit may be made a Iacke‑a‑Lent, when 'tis vpon ill [l. 2383] imployment.
Euant.
2384Sir Iohn Falstaffe, serue Got, and leaue your [l. 2385] desires, and Fairies will not pinse you.
Ford.
2386VVell said Fairy Hugh.
Euans.
2387And leaue you your iealouzies too, I pray [l. 2388] you.
![[p. 60]](FFimg:axc0080-0.jpg){kind=link}
Ford.
2389I will neuer mistrust my wife againe, till thou [l. 2390] art able to woo her in good English.
Fal.
2391Haue I laid my braine in the Sun, and dri'de it, [l. 2392] that it wants matter to preuent so grosse ore‑reaching as [l. 2393] this? Am I ridden with a Welch Goate too? Shal I haue [l. 2394] a Coxcombe of Frize? Tis time I were choak'd with a [l. 2395] peece of toasted Cheese.
Eu.
2396Seese is not good to giue putter; your belly is al [l. 2397] putter.
Fal.
2398Seese, and Putter? Haue I liu'd to stand at the [l. 2399] taunt of one that makes Fritters of English? This is e [l. 2400] nough to be the decay of lust and late‑walking through [l. 2401] the Realme.
Mist.Page.
2402Why Sir Iohn, do you thinke though wee [l. 2403] would haue thrust vertue out of our hearts by the head [l. 2404] and shoulders, and haue giuen our selues without scru [l. 2405] ple to hell, that euer the deuill could haue made you our [l. 2406] delight?
Ford.
Mist.Page.
Page.
trailes?
Ford.
Page.
Ford.
Euan.
2413And giuen to Fornications, and to Tauernes, [l. 2414] and Sacke, and Wine, and Metheglins, and to drinkings [l. 2415] and swearings, and starings? Pribles and prables?
Fal.
2416Well, I am your Theame: you haue the start of [l. 2417] me, I am deiected: I am not able to answer the Welch [l. 2418] Flannell, Ignorance it selfe is a plummet ore me, vse me [l. 2419] as you will.
Ford.
2420Marry Sir, wee'l bring you to Windsor to one [l. 2421] Mr Broome, that you haue cozon'd of money, to whom [l. 2422] you should haue bin a Pander: ouer and aboue that you [l. 2423] haue suffer'd, I thinke, to repay that money will be a bi [l. 2424] ting affliction.
Page.
2425Yet be cheerefull Knight: thou shalt eat a pos [l. 2426] set to night at my house, wher I will desire thee to laugh [l. 2427] at my wife, that now laughes at thee: Tell her Mr Slen [l. 2428] der hath married her daughter.
Mist.Page.
Caius wife.
Slen.
Page.
Slen.
2434Dispatch'd? Ile make the best in Glostershire [l. 2435] know on't: would I were hang'd la, else.
Page.
2436Of what sonne?
Slen.
2437I came yonder at Eaton to marry Mistris Anne [l. 2438] Page, and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not bene [l. 2439] i'th Church, I would haue swing'd him, or hee should [l. 2440] haue swing'd me. If I did not thinke it had beene Anne [l. 2441] Page, would I might neuer stirre, and 'tis a Post‑masters [l. 2442] Boy.
Page.
Slen.
2444What neede you tell me that? I think so, when [l. 2445] I tooke a Boy for a Girle: If I had bene married to him, [l. 2446] (for all he was in womans apparrell) I would not haue [l. 2447] had him.
Page.
Slen.
2451I went to her in greene, and cried Mum, and [l. 2452] she cride budget, as Anne and I had appointed, and yet [l. 2453] it was not Anne, but a Post‑masters boy.
Mist.Page.
2454Good George be not angry, I knew of [l. 2455] your purpose: turn'd my daughter into white, and in [l. 2456] deede she is now with the Doctor at the Deanrie, and [l. 2457] there married.
Cai.
2458Ver is Mistris Page: by gar I am cozoned, I ha [l. 2459] married oon Garsoon, a boy; oon pesant, by gar. A boy, [l. 2460] it is not An Page, by gar, I am cozened.
M.Page.
Cai.
Windsor.
Ford.
Page.
How now Mr Fenton?
Anne.
Page.
M.Page.
Fen.
Ford.
Fal.
2483I am glad, though you haue tane a special stand [l. 2484] to strike at me, that your Arrow hath glanc'd.
Page.
2485Well, what remedy? Fenton, heauen giue thee [l. 2486] ioy, what cannot be eschew'd, must be embrac'd.
Fal.
2487When night‑dogges run, all sorts of Deere are [l. 2488] chac'd.
Mist.Page.
Ford.
FINIS.